Random Thoughts: Sports, Poetry, Politics, Religion, and Race

Penn State: A Collosal Failure in Leadership

2011-11-15T07:05:00.001-06:00

I just read the full Grand Jury report on the child sexual abuse debacle at Penn State University and I am just sickened by the lack of institutional leadership at Penn State University and the lack of moral character by everyone involved on that campus.
Here is an institution that is dedicated to the development of young people that is covering up the destruction of the lives of children. Why? So that they can protect the Penn State brand and protect the name and reputation of Joe Paterno.
People, witnessed child rape and did nothing! Where is our moral fiber? Does it not exist anymore. Has our country come to only recognize money and power to be the moral standard. Is football that important?
I love football. The sport saved my life, the men that coach it (and basketball) saved my life. I was sexually abused by my step-father and my only outlet was sports. I played Division I football in what used to be the Pac-10. So it sickens me to hear that a monster, a serial child rapist has invaded what was my sanctuary. Not that these abuses didn't exist before but it is unbelievable that people would do only what is required by the law when witnessing something as hanious as child rape!
I am disappointed in Joe Paterno, the most powerful man at Penn State University. This is a man that has gone into, or sent representatives including Jerry Sandusky, living rooms of 17 and 18 year old boys across the nation for 46 years to convince parents to send their sons to Penn State. I have been through this process and I know how it works. They come in and convince the parents that they will be cared for at Penn State just like mom will care for them at home. The fact that this man, this monster, Jerry Sandusky, was on coaching staff at Penn State for 30 of the 46 years tells how much of a lie they have all lived. College coaching staffs are very close so I guarantee that it has been widely known for years that Jerry Sandusky has a 'taste' for young boys. Hell, the janatorial staff even knew.
So Mr. Paterno you are telling me you did not know prior to the Graduate Assistant coach telling you? I think you knew at least by 1999 when you told Sandusky he would not be the next head coach at Penn State. I think you knew long before that even. You showed tremendous leadership in telling a 30 year assistant that he would not be the heir apparent. You protected Penn State Football from this monster. My question is, "Where was that leadership when those children needed to be protected?" Were they not important enough? Clearly not as important as Penn State football. Yes, you reported it to your superior but why did you not take further action when it became clear that nothing would be done? What kind of example did you set for all of those around you including the 28 year old Graduate Assistant (who also did nothing beyond what was legally required)?
This was a collosal failure in leadership. Everyone who knew facts in this situation should be fired. This is a culture of open secrecy that has to be rooted out by removing all that stood by and did nothing. The President of the University, campus police, the janitors, the football coaching staff (probably coaches of other sports also) and their spouses all knew and stood by and did nothing.
Joe Paterno of all people should know that leadership is not doing what is required, it is doing what is necessary.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Game of the Century, College Football Top 5

2011-11-06T07:46:00.000-06:00

Well this week's 'Game of the Century' lived up to the hype. Alabama vs. LSU was a nasty defensive battle that went to overtime.
LSU pulled out the victory 9-6 on a field goal but it never gets to O.T. if Alabama has one kicker who can make a field goal. They missed 3 legit field goal attempts. You can't and shouldn't be #1 if you can't make a field goal. Or at least one of the three they missed.
Only true football fans enjoyed that game. It was an 'old school' defensive battle filled with 'big boy' hits from two teams filled with NFL talent.
I would not be surprised if they play again for the National Championship. They both deserve another shot at each other. Oklahoma State is up there but they don't have the caliber defense to hang with either one of these teams. OSU just gave up 45 in a win against Kansas State. Boise State won but they don't play anyone, and Stanford beat Oregon State (hurts to say that OSU is my Alma Mater).
Next time Nick Sabin will have to act like it is youth football and make anything over the 50 yard line 4 down territory. That would give them a better shot than missing field goals with 2 shaky kickers.
Speaking of youth football, we are now 9-1 and playing the team that beat us in the semi-finals of the playoffs. We are a better team than they are, all we have to do is show it.
Here is the "44Black College Football Top 5."
1. LSU - They outlasted Alabama in a physical dogfight. Hopefully they get to do it again in the title game. The offense is pedestrian when faced with a defense like 'Bama's but the defense is special no matter who they are facing.
2. Alabama - After the performance last night I cannot drop them more than one spot. They missed opportunity after opportunity offensively. The defense kept getting it back for them but they could not deliver. I thought they would at least once and that would have made the difference in the game.
3. Stanford - They are a strong, physical team with a great quarterback. They dominate Oregon State and win easily 38-13.
4. Oklahoma State - They won 52-45 but only because Kansas State could not punch it in on the goal line with no time left. They are good but give up way too many points to be a real contender.
5. Boise State - They won but they are supposed to. They don't play anyone. Not sure they would be here if they played a tough Top 20 opponent most weeks like the other teams on this list do.

That's All I Got!!
I'm Out!
44Black

College Football Top 5

2011-10-15T02:11:00.000-05:00

Before I get to the 44Black College Football Top 5 I need to sat a couple of things.
First, it is a terrible thing when USC is no where to be seen in any one's Top 25 poll. Coach Kifin, I know you are on probation but USC should have enough talent on the shelf to be somewhere in the top 25.
Second, my youth team is coming along nicely. We are 6-1 with 2 games to go. We are dominating opponents right now and getting ready for the playoffs.
Now on to college football:

LSU - Even with the suspensions and controversy they are #1. The defense is suffocating and the offense is good enough.
Alabama - Very good D and very good O. Aren't we all just waiting on the Alabama vs LSU game.
Wisconsin - I saw them play Oregon State in person and they are awesome!
Oklahoma - They are good. They destroyed Texas but are they in the class of the top 3?
Stanford - I have to put them here because I can't put Boise State here.....yet. Plus Andrew Luck is NICE!!!!!!

That's All I Got!!!!
I'm Out!!!
44Black

Screaming Like A Bitch!!!

2011-10-13T23:55:00.001-05:00

So I get on a quick flight to Pittsburgh from Chicago O'Hare. It had been a long day and I just made it to the airport in time to make my flight.
The plane was an Embarcadaro. A little larger than a private jet with a row of single seats on one side and two seats on the other. My seat was on the single row side, 10A.
I stooped to get my 6'4" frame into the doorway of the jet. "Hi, good evening!" the stewardess said as I got on. "Watch your head."
"Yeah, I don't want to knock myself out" I said with a smile.
"I would have to put you off the plane."
"Since I will be knocked out, you will have to drag me off the plane and I will wake up still in Chicago! That wouldn't be good."
Anyway, so I walk to my seat slowly because everyone seemed to be taking their own sweet time getting to their seat.
As soon as I sit down I feel that sense of relief that I always feel when I sit down on an airplane. My busy schedule means that I always have a million things to do before I leave town. Even if I am leaving on business like this trip to Pittsburgh. In order to get the million things done I usually have only gotten a couple hours sleep the night before and had several meetings to attend during the day before heading directly to the airport. So you may be able to understand my sense of relief when my butt hits that seat.
As the airplane is taxiing towards our runway for takeoff I ignore the safety directions by reading my Wall Street Journal. If my six year old can fasten her seat belt so can I, so I don't have to listen right? The airplane lifts off and its' business as usual.
Once we are up at 10,000 feet or so I remember the snack cart going by headed for the front of the airplane. Once she got to the front of the plane she started working her way toward the back row by row. By the third row I faded away to sleep.
Sleeping comfortably or soundly on airplanes has always been a challenge to me. When I fall asleep I dream about the damn plan going down so every little bump makes me jump. Somehow, in this instance I have gently fallen into a slumber with no dream. Only peace while my body exhales.
Suddenly, I feel a pain in my knee. Well not even a pain just a hard bump and it shakes me awake. In one motion I lunge forward a let out a bitchy yelp/scream!?!?!? WTF?
At the same time the stewardess says "Oh, I'm so sorry."
My damn knee was sticking out in the aisle and the stewardess hit it with the snack cart but in my mind the slight pain in my knee was the first thing I felt as the plane was going down! My worst fear is that the plane goes down while I am asleep and I don't have time to repent.
I obviously screamed, or whatever I did, loud enough that other people could hear because at least four people in front of me turned and looked when I screamed like bitch.
I think the old lady in front of me turned looked and smirked as she turned around, "What a bitch" she mumbled under her breathe.
Shameful. I put my fitted brown Dodger hat on nice and low for the rest of the trip and kept a low profile as I got off the plane.
"Have a nice day" she said, but then mumbled, "next time don't scream like a bitch!"

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!!
44Black!!

I Am NOT the Victim

2011-10-06T21:53:00.000-05:00

I really don't live my life as the victim. Although some of my recent posts would indicate otherwise. I guess the reason is that life has been hard lately and life is looking for me to fold. I have no desire or interest in folding. I know that things will get better and no matter what happens I won't fold. Even when others around me appear to be folding and or not being on my side.
I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel but my faith tells me it is there and I will continue to have that faith. I realize that even when I stand alone I am not alone and I am thankful for that.
I can't wait to be back on top. It's been a long time.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

I'm Failing

2011-08-28T22:20:00.001-05:00

I want to write but I'm not sure what to say. I feel like I am failing in almost every area of my life. How can that be?
I am not sure what else to do. I am truly lost. I am trying to trust God but I am lost. I really don't know what to do with myself now. My life is like the economy. It took a long time to mess up and will take a long time to fix.
I want to motivate you with what I have overcome yet all I have done lately is rain on your parade. I know things will get better. God will take care of that for me.
I can see how cats go in the hole and 'off'themselves when things get bad. Don't worry, I'm not suicidal but I understand. It may sound crazy but I see and understand it. I am not weak minded but I am truly struggling right now.
That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

What Kind of Shit am I from?

2011-08-08T00:37:00.000-05:00

From what kind of shit and where am I from? I mentioned the demon in an earlier post and I discussed the fact that he ain't dead but just out of my life. All I ever wanted, or maybe all I ever thought I deserved, was for him to be out of my life. Now in hindsight, just wanting him out of my life was just selfish. I removed the demon but I let him live to fight another day. I am not saying that I feel guilty, but I do regret that I did not stop him when I could.
This story seems to keep coming back to me. I put it away in a box in the back of the closet where I won't think about it and someone keeps pulling it out for me to deal with. Well it has been pulled out again. This is two or three times in a very short period of time.
Today, I discovered that the demon, Ransom Baker Hughes, has been very busy over the years. Just today alone I discovered two victims who are older cousins of mine. He was never punished for it. The demon's sister, the two victims mother, protected him when the victims told her and wanted to tell her husband, their father. What kind of sick family is this? This is why I have stayed away for 20 years. I didn't know this info but just my own shit has been enough to make me want to stay away. Today's discoveries make me want to move to another planet.
I also learned that the Demon has a brother who may be just as sick as he is and yet another brother who raped and produce a child by the sister of the father of the kids abused in the previous paragraph. Are you confused? You should be because I am. Again I ask "From what kind of shit and where am I from."
I'm not sure I even have the heart to post this. I am ashamed that any people much less my ex-step-family could act in such a way. Sick, Sick , Sick

That's All I Got!!!!
I'm Out!!!
44Black

Public Bathroom Phobia

2011-08-06T00:07:00.000-05:00

I think in my last couple of posts I said that you should not drink and blog....I was drunk at the time. Tonight is no different, only I am not drunk but I am well on the way and will be finished and maintaining by the end of this post. Again I say, DRINKING AND BLOGGING IS NOT OK!

So someone very close to me, let's call her Ellise, was at Sears with her daughter and she had to go to the bathroom. Just find the bathroom right? Well not in this case.
You see Ellise has a phobia when it comes to public restrooms. She will not use one. As a matter fact she used to drive home from work just to use the restroom, even though there was a restroom 40 feet from her at the office. Madness right? Back to the story.
Ellise and her daughter go to Sears and they get separated shopping in there separate areas when it hits Ellise.....she's gotta take a big dump. She ain't regular like me (between 9:30 and 10 am I am unavailable if you know what I'm sayin'.....EVERY DAY) so when she gotta go she gotta go. Oh, by the way Ellise is fine as hell!!! Disappointing isn't it to hear that the fine ass chick gotta dump like the rest of us.....but I digress.
The first thing Ellise thinks is "We gotta roll, that coffee is kickin' in faster than expected!" So she calls the daughter, Ellise Junior. For real that's her name. For the sake of this story we will call her junior from here on. No answer when she calls her. Then no answer when Ellise texts junior.
Ellise, knows that the reception in this particular Sears sucks yet 'she got work to do.'
So now fine ass Ellise is on the move, bumping old ladies out of the way trying to get to the car. Who else shops at Sears besides old people unless you are looking for a lawn mower?
She sends me a text on the way to the car, "I gotta take a dump and Junior not answering the phone...I'm out!"
As Junior's daddy I am concerned. I call her and she picks up the phone and says, "I'm out! She should've answered the damn phone."
"So you're just gonna leave her?" I say.
"Damn straight she knows I can't use public restrooms. She shoulda' stayed close."
Who knows they gotta stay close to people who have both a bathroom phobia and car keys? WTF?????? Lesson learned by Junior and those who are reading this piece of crap blog.
I called Junior and told her that she is at Sears by herself. By now she is standing in the parking lot wondering what is going because she can't go longer than 10 minutes of phone reception because she might miss a life altering text. I suppose getting left at Sears could be life altering? At least for Junior. Junior is the freshman in college version of T.O. "I LOVE ME SOME ME!"
"Hey did you know mom left you?"
"No, but I just got her text so I ran to the parking lot but the car is gone."
"You're mama left you there because she needed to take a dump and you didn't respond to her call or text."
"Seriously?" she asked.
"Seriously" I said with a big scoop of sarcasm.
"What am I supposed to do? This is ridiculous!"
"You're right maybe an one of them old farts can give you a ride."
About 20 minutes later Ellise called, "Wooo! I feel 10 pounds lighter!"
I say, "What about my damn daughter stuck at Sears!?"
She says, "She knows I'm not using any public bathroom so if she ain't where she needs to be when the feeling hits she is out of luck! You got a problem with that?"
I just said, "No" because at that point it was going to be a problem.
I just prayed that I would see my daughter, Junior, again.
Luckily, when I got home Ellise was there, fine but lighter, and Junior was there in one piece.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!!
44Black

Lost in Despair, Liquor, Rick James and Mary J.

2011-07-30T02:12:00.000-05:00

I see the way you look at me......as if to say its right. I pray for you day in and day out?
Something is happenin' to me,,,,the man I used to be he's gone, he gave up his life,,,,, so I could go on.
On into heaven where a love of a lifetime resides in you...........Kem
I'm waiting on heaven. There is a downward spiral here on earth. Somehow it is my doing, but I don't know how to pull out of the spiral. How do I save us, or what is left of us? I am broken, yet she doesn't notice because she is broken. I broke her but have no glue.
During an earlier post I wrote that my intentions were not malicious and they are not. But what I think and know in my heart makes no difference to the world. They don't give a damn. It is all perception.....so I have to act accordingly....at least for one person, or be alone.
I declare that I am a good man and I thought the world thought so too. Do I continue down the road of being a good mutha' fucka' according to me or do I move to understand that not only am I not what I thought I was but actually pretty shitty dude.
Love means something to me and the person I love means something to me. I realize I am a different dude, not an average dude but an above average dude.....again according to me. Hell according to her a few days ago I was great. But I guess it is like I said in a post a couple of years ago, 'how you look at your worst is how you look.' Damn that can be bad for me as well as a bunch of chicks out there! LMAO!
My heart is wounded. I am not at the crossroads as I was years ago. But she thinks I am a the crossroads, which means she is prepared for the crossroads??????? Hummmmmmm what does that mean for me?
Just writin' no editing 'bitches!'
I have been wrong in this sitiuation in some ways and I am sorry for it. I just want to get past it. Seeing and feeling you act halfway normal makes me think you are past it too. Just treat me like shit so I get it......I know you can do that!!!!Lmao! Liquor is a hell of a drug! That's 'Rick James Bitch!' Didn't I say in this very blog not to drunk blog? Oh well do as I say not as I do! BTW I am too funny to be doing LMAO!
My life is taking this strange spiral right now. Can you spiral up and down at the same time? Professional and God (Thank you for all) going good but the rest of life......Damn. Getting my balls kicked in.
Pretty sure wife don't want me but I have painted her in a corner. Not on purpose but that is how it has worked out. BTW people seem to think me and God not on the same page.....we goooooood! I get with him on a daily!
Friends? She said let's be friends and work from there......Friends? Friends? WTF am I? I am 44Black! 10 years bitches.....wait '99? That's 12 years sportsfans! Friends? Let me repeat 'cause your didn't hear me FRIENDS! I didn't react but a brotha is broken over that. My face is cracked. I will surely erase this shit tmw.
Damn, my marriage, my side hustle and my paper fucked but career jumpin'........you confused yet? I am!
I think it is time for me to spend some time in the weight room. This is what I did back in the day. It worked then, it will work now....with God mixed in. That will keep me where I need to be!!!!!!!!
'I'm Rick James Bitch!!!!!!'
"Like sweet morning dew,
I took one look at you
and it was plain to see
you were my destiny" Mary J.
I tell you what bitches (bitches is male and female in most cases) I'm gonna lay it out as much as I can without getting divorced tmw. I am lifting my Glenrothes (my sister says that's for old white men) to giving to you as straight and honest as I can.
Here is honest. I am in my living room (floors and walls by 44black) drinking my scotch and dancing/writing to pre-crazy Lauren Hill. Well she was kinda crazy cuz its the mtv live album.....I think she took a night off from crazy.
No spell check tonight.....live wit' it!
That's all I Got!!
I'm Out!
44Black!

Life is a Bitch Sometimes

2011-06-19T06:59:00.000-05:00

It is still the "Best of Times and the Worst of times" My relationship with God and my career have been progressing in a very favorable manor but all other things seem to be falling apart. Some of this is because I am moving closer to God but I will continue forward.
The "Worst of Times" has been devastating. Our lives are in shambles in some ways. We are in uncharted waters with no compass. The stress of this uncharted voyage has impacted our relationship, our love, our family and our day to day function. I am scared that life as I know it is gone and will not return. What will our old life be replaced with? I pray that it is not a life that is not filled with life.
My actions, regardless of intent look to be acts of betrayal and acts that lack loyalty. This saddens me to no end. I will continue to love, protect and support in the ways that I know how. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to see the error in some of my thinking.
Remember when this blog used to be fun and funny? It will be again one day but for now we have life to deal with?
Happy Father's Day
That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

I'm Blessed

2011-04-27T09:23:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is the best of times and the worst of times but I must say that God has blessed and continues to bless me. I am continuing this journey that is life with him by my side. As I prepare for our trip to Barcelona, Spain I am overcome with appreciation for our blessings. Thank you!
I can count in my blessings a strong relationship with my God, a strong marriage and a family that loves each other. While we certainly have our challenges, life is good and filled with blessings.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Spain, the NBA and Easter Sunday

2011-04-24T07:29:00.000-05:00

Ok, the last two posts have been depressing......damn. I want to delete them but that would not be fair? Put it out there and leave it out there right? Life is still good and bad at the same time but I am just talking good today! Besides there are better things to talk about right now.....the NBA playoffs have started, I love the playoffs, and I am going to SPAIN very soon.
As worldly and enlightened as I am supposed to be I have never been across the pond. I am looking forward to it. A week in Barcelona on the Mediterranean never hurt nobody. My Spanish sucks but I will try. Hopefully, the will give an 'ignorant American' credit for trying! I hear the sights and the history are great but the food is nothing to write home about? That will be disappointing. We will be on the water so the seafood has to be good right? Maybe I will post some pics.
Today is Easter Sunday! We were supposed to go to 7 am service but that did not work out. It seems that only my 5 year old and I are early risers in this family so 9 am service it is. Problem is 9 am is packed on any given Sunday so on Easter? It's gonna be like a basketball game in that joint. Regardless, I am thankful to for the sacrifice that has been made for us.
Easter Sunday also means good food! We've go ham, greens, yams, sweet potato pie, red velvet cake and banana pudding! Wow, that seems to be a little heavy on the dessert don't you think? Oh well it is just one day right?
As for the NBA? Just loving it right now. My Lakers looked disinterested (shocking) in the first game against the Hornets and gave away home court but have gained it back by taking a 2-1 lead. The Bulls are up 3-1 but are in a dogfight against the Pacers who are playing every bit as dirty as the 90's Bad Boy's Detroit Pistons. The Heat seem to have it together although they may not have the size to finish the deal this year. Boston, playing a little shaky. Portland and Dallas is a good series but where is either team going at the end of the day.......HOME. Same thing for Orlando and Atlanta. Entertaining but who really cares? I will have an NBA Playoffs Power Ranking posted soon.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Life Part 2

2011-04-17T04:43:00.000-05:00

Am I not a friend because I made a mistake? Is a mistake a betrayal? Does the fact that everything I do is for our relationship mean nothing?
We are in a difficult time. I say we but, it seems that the we is just me. I am left alone, cut off, because I made a mistake? I now know and accept that you will never see it as such. It is a betrayal in your book. Betrayal is a terrible word in my book and I have always thought that my loyalty is one of my strengths.
We are letting this situation destroy us. I am willing to stand by you and fight with you but I am not going to fight you.
I don't know what happened but it seems that the new you hates the world. Why did the old you go away? We were a team and we loved the world and its' people. I miss you and have missed you for a long time. Did I drive you away. I am so saddened to see you suffer. I feel as though I am slowly watching 'us' die. More importantly, I feel I am watching you waste away.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Life

2011-04-17T04:24:00.000-05:00

You know life can be a confusing and complicated thing. No one understands me. That is the bottom line. Now the question is, can I be ok with that?
Life is great right now and life sucks right now. God is slowly turning the boat in my favor. I KNOW he is acting on my behalf! Meanwhile, I am acting and moving with confidence (not an easy feat for me) yet no one seems to believe me. I am trying to achieve something that the world and conventional wisdom does not think I can pull off? I know I can do it. There are two paths right now. One is clear and the other is not. I am trying to sit in silence and listening for God's voice.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Week 15 NFL Power Rankings

2010-12-17T23:13:00.000-06:00

A lot has transpired since the last poll. Let's get on with it:

Patriots - 11-2 The Patriots' young group is coming of age as we approach playoff time and Tom Brady is playing like the MVP he is. New England has won its last three games 126-34 with two of those opponents being supposed contenders in the Jets and the Bears.
Falcons - 11-2 I am still not sure I am buying in here but their record insists they are ranked up here. Matt Ryan is showing himself to be a prime time QB and Michael Turner and that bruising running game have led the way.
Saints - 10-3 The Saints have Reggie Bush back and are starting to flex their offensive muscle. They will need the defense to get back to their ball hawkin' ways to really make a run at the title. They have a huge game this week vs. the Ravens.
Eagles - 9-4 Their offensive speed is scary! QB, RB and WR are game breakers.
Steelers - 10-3 They beat the Ravens to push them to #6 in this poll if this was a Top 6 poll. Pittsburg would be ranked higher in this poll but Troy Polomalu is doubtful this week. They are a different defense without him. Don't get me wrong they are still very good but their big play ability is dramatically reduced when Troy is not on the field.

What do you think!?!?!?!?

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Life

2010-12-17T18:18:00.000-06:00

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.

Sorry

2010-12-12T05:37:00.001-06:00

I recently lost a fiend, taken suddenly by a heart attack. I was at the movies with my son when I got the news. I was shocked and so saddened. Erick was so young. Now I owe Erick an apology:

Erick, I am sorry I missed your home going. The more I look at the photos of who was there I feel terrible that I was not there. I know you are in a better place but I want you to know that I continue to pray for your family everyday. I thank you for your friendship over the years. The earth is not quite as bright without you. Your legacy lives on though through your daughters and the lives you touched in your time here with us. We all love you E. You will be missed.

That's All I Got
I'm Out
44Black

The Demon Ain't Dead

2010-10-19T06:40:00.001-05:00

If you have read this blog in depth at all you know that I have a demon that I exorcised from my life years ago. I have never fully explained the role of the demon when he was in my life, but maybe it is time. I will explain it, but I will make it brief.
The demon was my step-father. He was in my life from the age of 5 or 6 until I was 18 years old. His name is Ransom Baker Hughes and he works for the government in the forestry service.  From age 8 to age 14 or 15 I was sexually abused by this man....the demon. The abuse only stopped when I refused to cooperate any longer.
Although I did not have the fortitude to out him to my family I at least got the abuse to stop. I still after all these years am not sure if my brother and sister were in the same boat as me.  The drug and legal issues my brother has had indicate to me that he had the same experience or has been affected by being aware of my abuse. In fact, it was my brother that outed him. He told her of what happened to me. My mother immediately boarded a plane to Atlanta to see me and confirm this information. Obviously this led to their divorce and the demon was out of all of our lives right? Not quite.
My sister stayed in touch with the demon I guess to determine if she could live without her father. During that time she discovered that the demon was going to remarry. Of course he was remarrying a lady with children. I felt obligated to talk to this woman.
When I called her she refused me. She did not validate my claims by being at least willing to listen to what I had to say. Throughout this process, even though I was the victim people have not acknowledged my pain or trauma. This lady did the same by saying and indicating that she was aware of what happened and that she was not at all concerned. I must say that was painful but I moved on because I had my own issues to deal with from this ordeal.
That was 13 years ago. Last week the demon's current wife, yes the same lady, contacted me via facebook and asked me to call her as she has been alarmed by some things. I was shaken as soon as I read her message. I was not sure I wanted to re-open this wound. I tried to deliver the message to her many years ago and she did not acknowledge me. So why should I acknowledge her now? But then my thoughts turned to the possibility that her kids or some other kid is being hurt by him. "The demon ain't dead" I thought to myself, "he is only out of my life.
I called her and she explained to me that he has been surfing the web for gay sex, kiddie porn and searching craigslist for gay sex and probably for underaged victims. Now her eyes are open and she is willing to listen...13 years later. What about your kids lady?  If someone said to me they may have a child molester in their life, I am investigating it. Regardless of whether I have kids or not.....NOW not 13 years later.
I delivered my message to her bluntly and directly so that she could clearly see the difference between what she was told by the demon and the truth. Turns out she told her that he taught me how to masturbate and that the whole situation was misunderstood? Even that sounds improper. Besides that was not close to what went on.
Needless to say she was shocked by the truth.
"That is not what you told me before" she said.
"You didn't allow me to get that far. You said that you knew the situation and that it was not that serious."
After I got off the phone I felt a hole in my stomach. It saddened me know that the demon is still alive. I am not sure how to legally slay the demon. I made efforts years ago to have him locked away. Maybe it is time to attempt again.
This whole post may be TMI and I apologize for that. Oh, I take that back. It is my blog after all.

That's All I Got!!!!
I'm Out!!
44Black

Week 5 NFL Power Rankings

2010-10-15T21:03:00.000-05:00

Now here we are 5 weeks and boy have things changed. No one is undefeated and there are a few 4-1 teams and a bunch of 3-2 teams. Mediocrity reigns in the NFC and my Cowboys SUCK!
Can somebody tell me why the Patriots traded Randy Moss to the Vikings? Can someone tell me why Brett Farve is sending naked pictures of himself to anyone (allegedly)? How about the Cowboys? They can't beat anyone.
OK let's get on with the rankings for this week:
1) Ravens 4-1 - The defense is bruising like it always is. Only now there is a little offense to go along with it. They have quality wins against two of the other top 5 teams, the #2 Jets and the #3 Steelers
2) Jets 4-1 - Things are looking up on offense. Sanchez can actually pass the ball and maybe LT is not washed up after all. That defense gets after the QB too. Quality wins over the Patriots, Miami and the Vikings show that they could move up in the rankings in the near future.
3) Steelers 3-1 - Who would have thought that the Steelers would be 3-1 when they got to the bye week? Not me. The D has basically won games by itself. With Big Ben on the shelf and QBs going down like flies I thought I would soon get a call from the Steelers to come out of retirement. Ben is back this week so the Steelers are in great shape as they look to take on the Browns this week.
4) Saints 3-2 - No quality wins, and a few key injuries. They will be off this list if Reggie Bush is not back soon!
5) Bears 4-1 - I hate to put them here because this is the ugliest 4-1 team in the league. They have what we thought were quality wins over Dallas and Green Bay and they stole a game from the Lions.

On the outside looking in are the Patriots because I think they are going to miss Moss. The Falcons and Colts are not quite there yet. The Packers are off this list because the whole team is injured!

That's the list. What do you think? BTW now that we got that long ass 162 game regular season out of the way it is finally baseball season. So I can start paying attention

That's All I Got!!!
I'm Out!!!
44Black

NFL Week 1 Top 5 Power Rankings

2010-09-14T15:32:00.000-05:00

Well, it is a start of a new football season and it's time for my NFL Top 5 power rankings.
1. The Saints - "To be the man you got to beat the man" The Nature Boy Ric Flair. The Vikings were not able to 'beat the man' so the Saints are number one.
2. The Vikings - They are obviously good. People criticized Farve's play against the Saints but I thought he was good considering he has been in camp for 3 weeks and his number one receiver is out for at least half the season. The D is strong and they will be able to run the ball.
3. The Patriots - Decent win over what may be a decent Bengal team. They did with O and a young fast D. Brady looks like the Brady we have come to expect and Moss is pissed off.
4. The Ravens - Not much offense but enough to get by the Jets. The Ravens D is in mid-season form. Ray-Ray was handing out ass whuppins and talking much sh#% as he faced his former offensive coordinator. The D will get stronger when Ed Reed returns later in the year. Their Offense will be better against other teams because they were facing the Jets vaunted D after all. The O will get even better when and if Donte Stallworth returns.
5. The Packers - They have an offense which the Jets don't so the Packers get the 5th spot.

Standing on the outside are the Jets, Colts, Steelers and the Texans.
Maybe I'll hit you with college football soon.

That's All I Got!!!!!!
I'm Out!!!!
44Black

The Pen (Another Psycho Post)

2010-09-13T00:40:00.001-05:00

My truth and my pain flows thru my fingers to my pen. The ink boils with my anger and turns red like the blood from my pain. The paper burns as the hot ink burns a path in the paper. But am I really truthful with myself? Am I living in a world where I am the only real character?
How is it that I never can do enough? How is it that I feel this great pain, this great void. Where are you? Why aren't you here with me? Why did you leave me? I'm lost without you. Where are you? You have drifted away from me because I'm selfish? Selfish??? I thought that was the last thing anyone could ever think I was. The one who knows me like you thinks I am selfish?

That's All I Got!!!!
I'm Out!!!
44Black

Sports, LeBron and Football

2010-09-10T07:37:00.000-05:00

I haven't talked sports in a while so let me give you a few thoughts. I think I will start with Tiger.
Now that the divorce is official maybe this guy can get back to being obsessed with winning instead of flap jack waitresses. Talk about a guy who lost 'The Eye of the Tiger' (No pun intended there)!?!?!?!  He has written a check for somewhere between $50 and $100 million to his ex, everyone hates him and he can't win a tournament to save his life! Saying that things have gone downhill is an understatement.
He should be pissed off and embarrassed.  Now is the time when you see what a man is really made of. Does he have what it takes to pull himself out of this hell hole and reclaim his status as the greatest golfer alive? Or will he fade away and just be average? Rehab and counseling may be bad for him in that respect. His obsession with flap jack waitresses (that's two references in this post, love it) and his obsession with winning are signs of a pattern in his life. When he is focused on something, nothing can get in his way of getting it. I imagine that rehab makes you, or at least tries to make you, let go of obsessions. It makes you see that some things are important enough to get in the way of winning, or flap-jack waitresses (that's 3 maybe I'm obsessed).
While I think that his behavior was despicable for a married man. He embarrassed his wife in front of the world and showed that he is a shitty guy. But he has suffered enough and paid a high price. Besides while it is entertaining and funny, his off the course behavior is really none of my business and I really don't care about it. I am really interested in seeing if he can get back to dominating. That is what I want to see. I love watching the best be the best and come back from the brink of destruction and be the best.
Next, I need to talk about LeBron. What was that? 'The Decision' was the worst idea ever! I am glad he left Cleveland and went to Miami (BTW the Lakers still win you heard it here) but that build up and announcement was crazy. Let's hope Carmelo learned a lesson and won't do the same next year.
Speaking of Carmelo, the latest rumour is that Denver may sign and trade him to Chicago. The Bulls quietly had a very good off-season and have a nice roster. They are discussing Trading Joakim Noah for Carmelo. I would do that in a heartbeat. Although, giving up Noah takes away from the blood and guts of the team but that is what you would have to give up at a minimum to get a superstar like 'Melo. That trade, if it happens may make me cheer for the Bulls!
Well, the NFL, College Football and Youth Football is back and I love all 3 of them. My questions are, 1) Can the Saints repeat? 2)Will my Cowboy offensive line be good enough? 3) Will my Cowboys live up to the hype? 4) Will Boise State run the table and get in the National Championship game? 5) Will my youth football team rebound from a poor start and make a run at the Super Bowl?
All interesting questions and I have answers to none of them. I guess that is the beauty of sport?!

That's All I Got!!!!
I'm Out!!!
44Black

Trying to be a Blessing

2010-09-06T22:30:00.000-05:00

I offered my help to someone. I wasn't and still am not sure how I will help or be a blessing but I wanted him to know that I am here if I am needed.

He responded by telling me his story. I was surprised that he was so open to me so quickly. I am not sure if that is just his way or he felt comfortable with me. His story was shocking and compelling. It was amazing that he could be there in front of me bruised but unbroken. His story made me think of myself. He like I have walked in hell. As a matter of fact he is still there (I may be too) trying to make his way through the fire. In some ways I feel helpless to assist him but I know my presence in his life is at least a glass of ice water in hell.

I had to stop and cry after we talked. My heart ached (still does) for him. My hands shook as much as my voice as I told my wife his story. His predicament was overwhelming to my senses and my thoughts about what the human psyche can take. I know they say "God does not give you more than you can handle" but some cases seem extreme.

All I can do is show him what it means to be a man but somehow it does not seem to be enough. How can I show him that there is some fairness in the world even though the hand he has been dealt tells him just the opposite. But even giving all I have would not be enough to give him back what 'could have been.' I say what could have been because in his story it was obvious that he wasn't going to have a fair opportunity in life no matter what.

I hope that my life experience will help him.

That's All I Got!!
I'm Out!
44Black

Used and Abused

2010-08-25T23:19:00.000-05:00

How do you thank someone for using you? Do you write them a letter? Do you tell them to never come back???? Will anything you do make you feel any better about yourself?
I know you have used me, mine and my resources and so do you. It needs to be said so you can smell the shit smell like I have for so long. I let it happen this time. That is worse than when I was young and could do nothing about it. The buffer that is between you and I may not matter much longer. I will ignore the buffer and let you hear what you already know. You used the buffer to your advantage and you are a shitty person for it because the buffer only loves you. Me? I love the buffer too....that is the problem. Still, you have hidden behind the buffer and your health. I want you to know that when you go, you won't be back in our lives....you are forever on your own. You won't use the buffer to get to our resources.
I've never regreted helping someone until now. You have altered my view of family and how to go about helping people. Thanks for that.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!!
44Black

Can You Hear God?

2010-07-18T18:26:00.000-05:00

How do you know what you are meant to do or meant to be? I know you are supposed to be still and quiet and listen for God. I believe that the positive voice I hear in my head is God. He loves me and wants the best for me.
Problem is, sometimes I have trouble being still and quiet to hear him. Worse yet, the other doubting voices in my head sometimes drown out God's voice. I know that shouldn't happen but it does. Even with the successes and good things that have happened in my life my negative life experiences seem to outweigh all and slow me down.
God has been speaking to me, loudly, but I am still having trouble making out exactly what he is saying. I hear him saying "I am your Father. I am here for you and you are here for a great purpose that will benefit many people." But I am having trouble decifering what he is telling me beyond that.
Maybe he is not telling me and he is leaving it to me to discover what purpose he has for me. Is it that I am not still enough or quiet enough? Or maybe I am not showing enough stewardship over what he has given me for him to reveal my purpose.
I do believe him when he tells me that I am here to be great and here for a great purpose. I am professing here, to you reader, my belief in what he is telling me. This is an enormous step for me for even though I have done great things I have often attributed it to luck, happenstance and being in the right place at the right time. Instead, it has been with the help and blessing of God that I (we) have accomplished those things.
I am starting to understand that I am protected by him and his shield is strengthened by my faith. Repeatedly in my life I have let this shield be weakened by a lack of faith in both myself and my God.
I am searching for what exactly my mission is but in the meanwhile I am preparing myself. The world and my community in particular are in disarray and in need of many things. I can only have faith that I will be able to help the world in some way.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Ron Artest and Other NBA Thoughts

2010-06-26T14:04:00.000-05:00

My love hate relationship with Kobe continues. He is terribly arrogant and tries to emulate Mike but says it's the furthest thing from his mind. That is the hate part. On the other hand he is the best player on my favorite team. That's the love part. So the Lakers win the title in exciting fashion, a game 7 over the Celtics. I somehow have love for the C's. I think because they weren't supposed to be there because they were too old.
After the Lakers win game 7 Ron Artest (Ronron) thanked his psychiatrist! That guy is sooooooo funny. After the game he went to Flemings Steakhouse with his family.....in FULL UNIFORM including sweats! He also kept it on later in the evening by continuing on to the club where he gave his jersey to Chris Brown of all people. He then partied for 2.5 days still with no shower and uniform on. He said he wasn't scared to say he goes to a therapist because he knew it would make him stronger. I love that guy for his honesty. He's crazy but he's honest.
The Bulls got rid of Kurt Heinrich to clear more cap space. Now they could possibly sign King James and Chris Bosh? Add that to D. Rose and Noah the Bulls will have something cooking and I would finally have a Chicago team to cheer for.

That's All I Got!!!
I'm Out!!!!
44Black

What Did We Do Before Electricity?

2010-06-21T18:55:00.000-05:00

What the hell did we do before electricity? Two days ago we had a major storm blew thru and our power was knocked out. So for two full days we have been with the kids with no cable TV, internet, house phone, phone chargers, dvds, music, videos, microwaves, refrigerators, lights, AC or ceiling fans. So again, I ask what the hell did we do before electricity!!!!! There was a snow and ice storm years ago where we were trapped in the house for a week and I thought we were going to go crazy. But at least then we had electricity and cable! Oh, and did I mention that the other side of the street had power? A few more hours of no power and I would have taken my kids across the street for some looting.
First off, my oldest daughter (18 years old) who steady says she is the most loyal person in the family bailed out on us immediately. As soon as it became apparent that the power was not coming back anytime soon, she packed her bags and was out the door to her girlfriends house. Loyal to herself I guess.
So we light candles and pull out the flash light. My baby daughter clicks the on button on the flashlight.....nothing. there is nothing because baby girl plays with the flashlight and she leaves it on so now that we need it the batteries are dead. Of course, my brave son (sarcasm, dumb not brave) volunteers to go to 7-11 to get batteries.....during the storm....on his bike. Anyway, when he gets back with the batteries. There is no A/C and it's hot as Haiti in the summer so we sweat through the night.
I awakened the next morning with the optimism that the power is back on. I open my eyes and look to the digital clock on my dresser.....nothing. How can that be? I've never been longer than a few hours without power. Except the time in college when my roommate took my half of the electric bill money but did not pay the electric bill. I remember walking into the apartment and seeing him sitting in silence on the couch. Another story for another time.
So I make another of the 10 or so trips to the store to get ice to keep my food cold and I think of a gameplan. If I take the family to breakfast we can kill a little time and surely the power will be back on by then.
So I come home and offer to take the family to breakfast at the kids favorite spot. My wife decides to get oin on the act by insisting that we go to HER favorite breakfast spot. Of course when we get there the sign on the door says, "Try again, no power sorry." Too funny but that is what she gets.
Then we go to breakfast and the 5 year old is asking every 10 minutes, "Do we have cable again yet?"
The 18 year old is texting, because actually talking to me would require to much effort, asking if the power is back yet. My son is hoping the power stays off forever because that means we can eat out all the time.
After getting home from breakfast there is still no power. So we spend the rest of the day outside playing basketball and soccer. It was very entertaining to watch my wife play basketball against my 13 year old son. I don't think that I have seen her play basketball before....her skill level does not match her competitiveness and I will leave it at that!!!!!
That evening we played Yatzee by candlelight, jenga and any other activity we could think of until we couldn't stay awake any longer. Sunday morning was Father's Day! I opened my eyes and my digitial clock was still dark!!!! Obviously, I don't have a backup battery in the damn thing.
The family brought cards and gifts to me that morning which I appreciated. But the greatest gift of all was the sound of the ComEd truck rolling up the street. Problem is the truck just slowed as we looked out the window and cheered. They may have saw lights on the other side of the street and kept rolling. Suddenly, I felt like Gilligan.
The family took me to breakfast for Father's Day, at my wife's favorite spot.....shocker!!!!!! On the way way cased the neighborhood looking for the ComEd truck but we found nothing. We rode on to breakfast in silence with us thinking the following:

My wife and I - How much longer can we hold out before we have to start using kids for food?
5 year old - Do we have cable again yet?
13 year old son - I hope they have thick bacon at the spot today!
18 year old daughter - If there is no power, I'm getting this free meal then I'm out! Oh, and I am loyal as hell to these people! I am here ain't I?
Sister in Law - Crickets

After breakfast we drove home hoping and praying for lights. We slowly pulled up to the house and we sent my son in to check. 1 minute later he came out with his hands up screaming "WE HAVE LIGHTS" like he just won the Super Bowl!
Again, I ask, "What the hell did we do before electricity? Whatever it was we should still be doing it because I must say I enjoyed my powerless weekend with my family. I think we will be having 'powerless' days from time to time.

That's All I Got!!!!
I'm Out!!!
44Black

I'm Better Now

2010-06-09T23:07:00.000-05:00

Ok, I thought one of the new features of the the blogger was that posts would be put up according to the date you wrote them. Well apparently not. My previous post was written a couple of months ago......I'm better now but things are still crazy.
On another note, I have joined a boot camp. Yes, I work out on a fairly regular basis but I don't put in 'work' like I used to so I decided to join a boot camp because I knew I was getting soft. For those of you who don't know, Boot Camp is when you pay a 'twenty something' year old kid to yell at you while work out. I will detail my bootcamp experience in the near future.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Don't Read This if You are Happy

2010-05-27T22:46:00.000-05:00

Well my birth month of March started out as a month of new challenges and optimism. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a month of rejection and dissappointment. Even worse, April has started out the same way. I can't explain my feelings of hurt and dissappointment.
My heart isn't broken but it is cracked, as is my confidence in life and people. My heart actually hurts! That hasn't happened in a long long time. I am trying to be optimistic but it is difficult right now, hence the title to this post.
Do you have the right to demand from the world what you demand from yourself. I say yes, but I am finding that the world sucks right about now.
My house is in total dissarray. I am dissappointed in those around me yet my efforts to 'right the ship' are being thwarted. I said before I am tired of being nice.
I promise to be more cheerful in the near future.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!!
44Black

Pissing Into the Wind

2010-04-25T23:44:00.001-05:00

It used to be funny to me because I thought it was temporary. Well, it's not and it's not funny anymore. I'm tired and no one else gives a fuck about it. After a while, trying to do good and have it mean nothing feels like peeing into the wind....eventually you just piss on yourself.
This is probably due to me not taking control of my own life. If there is one thing that I have learned in my life it is that if you don't take control of it, it can spin out of control and in directions you never anticipated. Being nice and trying to please people don't pay, it only gets you taken advantage of. I'm not saying don't be nice to people. But maybe I shouldn't put myself in positions to be taken advantage of.....be less about other people and more about me.
I still say overall I am blessed and my life is blessed. I'm just tired!!!!

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!!!
44Black

Gifts Update

2010-03-21T15:10:00.000-05:00

Well, I am making strides since the loss (or non-win) of an award in my quest to be great. I am letting the loss feed my need and will to compete. I made great strides since we last spoke.
I have had discussions with upper management regarding the future. They are interested in what I want. I am pushing for a program that will give my future the thrust it needs. This week I had discussions with my manager that will give me consideration for the program. This week I will spend the day with my manager's manager and one of the things on the agenda is my future and my admittance to the program. I'm not sure when all of this will go down but I am preparing and praying for the best.

That's all I got!!!
I'm Out!!
44Black

Changing People

2010-03-21T15:09:00.000-05:00

I have many, many friends all over the country but I have found that as you go through life you only acquire a small handfull of true close friends. Why is that?
As I look at my life and friends and acquiantance I see that they change over time. Some for the better some for the worse. I have changed also, I hope for the good. But is it that people truly change or is it that people just at some point show their true colors?
I only say this as it seems more often than not the change is a dissappointing one and a sudden one. I would think that if the change was over time it would be because someone is changing but if the change is sudden I would think it is because they got tired of frontin' like they were someone else.
I have dismissed friends (and may have been dismissed also) who suddenly seem like they are different people or just don't care about the world. The dismissal has no impact on them. They seem to care less about people than they do their title and what material items they possess.
Don't get me wrong, I have my own aspirations in life. You have read of my struggles with greatness and how to achieve it. The difference is that those achievements don't make me a man or a better man. There are plenty of examples of men who have achieved great things but are not great people. Examples would be Tiger Woods and John Edwards. I will get to Edwards in a future post.....he is a real special piece of shit that needs his own post from me.
I guess my point is to, as Russell Simmons titled his book, "Just Do You!" Why can't people just, be themselves from the beginning? If we could all do that the world would be a much easier place. Maybe it is that people just don't know who they are which is another conversation too.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Gifts

2010-02-24T21:54:00.001-06:00

So, I have discussed pursuing greatness and yes I am in pursuit of my version of greatness. A few days ago I had a minor setback in my pursuit when I didn't win an award from my peers that I thought I deserved. I was disappointed to say the least. A small diversion in my long term plan.
I am discovering that I will need to show what I am hiding. Am I willing to strip myself naked and show the rest of me and my gifts? The things I am hiding I am not ashamed of, in fact I am proud of, but I have not showed them out of some sense that those who judge me would be jealous or somehow think I am not faithful to them and the cause that I have now made mine. That begs the question, "Will they be faithful to me once I show all of me? Will they use my gifts? Or will I be left on the side of the road like many others who have come before me?"
Greatness and destiny is only achieved by those who are willing to fail, those who are willing to show all of themselves in order to win. I have laid it all on the line before and usually win, but not in this arena and that's where my discomfort comes from. I am nervous but determined to move forward in my quest for greatness, destiny and respect. Only I am accountable for me and what happens to and for me.
I'm sure this sounds like a lot of incoherent babble but hey I have nowhere else to write this stuff.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Passion and Greatness Part II

2010-02-07T18:01:00.042-06:00

I asked the question, "Is my muse the obvious one or one that is hidden?" in the first version of Passion and Greatness. Well just know that I am workin on the obvious. I will pour all the passion I have into the obvious. It's the one everyone sees and the one I see.
Now, the question I ask is will throwing so much energy and passion into something make her become my muse at some point? She may already be my muse, but only time will tell.
Though I have had a fantastic life and I am thankful for it, it is not enough. I'm not great yet, I'm not the best yet but I will be. I am becoming more comfortable with the feeling of being content with not being content. Happy where I'm at but not happy......just stayin' hungry baby, just stayin' hungry!
I won't let my reluctance to put energy into the obvious turn into procrastination and paralization. My procrastination has cost me time and most recently cost me financially, but more importantly caused those that are closest to me to be dissappointed in me.....the worst feeling in the world. It will not happen again.
Look out world. Here I come and I ain't asking questions, I'm kicking ass and gettin' names later!

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Gametime

2010-02-07T17:32:00.000-06:00

Saints 31, Colts 38

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Crazy Must Be Fun and Some Retractions

2010-01-13T07:23:00.001-06:00

OK, first off I need to make a couple of retractions. I stated in a post a couple of years ago that I just didn't like Kobe and how strange that was to hate the best player on my favorite basketball team. Well I'm gonna do something of a flip flop here. Kobe is OK by me. Yes he still tries to 'be like Mike' and he is arrogant but he's done like a fungus and grown on me. The guy will rip your heart out on the court and I love that about him. He will stop at nothing to beat you! This is not a full retraction but a partial. I think back then I was just emotional over the Shaq thing. Maybe I will touch on Shaq later in this post. I am still mad at Kobe for letting Shaq's name come out of his mouth at the police station in the Colorado debacle.

A year or more ago I blogged about my dread off texting in the house. I think it just breeds more laziness and further inhibits our ability to deal with each other face to face. Well, with my 17 year old daughter being crazy and my sister in law being my sister in law (also crazy, see other posts) I have discovered that I don't need to see them and a text is actually preferrable. With a crazy person in your face you have to deal with it at that moment. With a text, I got options. I can reply immediately, I can choose not to reply, laugh and walk away or I can just turn my phone off and not get anything from crazy people until I choose. I like the control of the conversation I get with text. I can stop a conversation with a crazy person at anytime......priceless.

My intent in this post is to point out the fact that there are a lot of crazy people in the world. There are so many of them it makes me conclude that being crazy must be fun. If it wasn't fun why do so many people choose it as a career? Here are a few in no particular order and some of their antics:

Rod Blagojevich - My former Governor was recorded trying to sell Barack Obama's senate seat with his wife (also crazy) cussin' like a sailor in the background. He was impeached but still denies the recorded allegations. His latest is that he said the he is 'Blacker than Barack Obama'.......that's crazy!
Tiger Woods - Billionaire with a fetish for pancake house waitresses. Now he is trying to pay his wife $$$$ to stay? She can leave and take half so she's got options.
Sarah Palin - Thinks she is smart.
Sister in Law - She is a nurse and she got into an argument with a doctor about patient care. Hummmmm, who has more education here? Sane people give the doctor their opinion. Crazy people argue over it. Really insane people walk out and quit their job on the spot and then hang out gambling at the casino for a couple of months. Oh, did I mention she has no $$$$$$?
Shaq - Accuses his wife of stealing money from him then gets back together with her. She then discovers that he has a similar problem to Tiger only he at least appears to like models versus the pancake pushers. He would have been better off letting her walk with what she socked away and a nice sized divorce settlement. Now she will get half and damage your image on the way out the door. Not to mention an gigantic child support check every month! Oh, and now low budget models are coming out like fleas on an old dog to say they got with Shaq.
Terrell Suggs - This guy left his wife for a stripper. I could stop there and my point would be made but you know I won't. You're supposed to leave the stripper for your future wife. Terrell have you ever heard the saying 'you can't turn an ho' into a housewife'? Apparently, not because he gave it a good try. So he got with the stripper and had two kids. Of course the honeymoon didn't last forever. Now the stripper has a restraining order against him stating that he pinned her down sat on her, held her by the neck and threatened to drown her with a bottle of bleach. I'm sure that part is exaggerated because the stripper is now suing him for $70 million! Oh, this ain't exaggerated, he is paying $35,000 a month in child support.....to a stripper. The most they are supposed to get is $20 for a lap dance!!! But if you're crazy the rules are different....there are no rules.
My sister - Who has a baby shower for 300 people?
My mother - sends texts to my sister regarding the size of her turds......sad and so embarrassing for me to admit.

Anyway, my point is that if people can do these things without any regard for the general rules of life it must be somewhat fun or liberating. Then again maybe that is the definition of crazy.

HOW 'BOUT THEM COWBOYS!!!!!!!!!!! I'll get to sports some other time.

That's All I Got!!!
I'm Out!!!
44Black

The Censors

2010-01-11T00:07:00.000-06:00

Once again I am being censored. I have been chastised for speaking so freely on my life. I have been threatened with bodily harm by........let's call her Fidel Castro. Whatever happened to the First Amemdment, the freedom of speech? Don't worry, I ain't scared of Fidel (kinda).
Anyway, have I talked about how good Christmas dinner was this year? It was 'Off the hook!' If you remember the post from the holidays last year my lovely sister in law and my wife cooked and it was a disaster. This year my wife cooked without the sister in law and it turned out great. So obviously it was the sister in law who was to blame for the food.
And BTW, my wife has been looking hotter than July lately?
KISS MY ASS FIDEL!!!! Just kidding Fidel I don't want no trouble!

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Tiger

2010-01-05T21:35:00.000-06:00

So we now know that even though he went to Stanford, Tiger Woods is not the sharpest tool in the tool shed.  On the other hand, it has been pretty clear for a while, to everyone but me, that Terrell Suggs is an idiot. I will get to Suggs in a later post, but first Tiger.
Someone forgot to tell Tiger that he is a Billionaire and should only mess with people who either have something to lose or he is just paying them for sex. This guy was messin' with the girl working the drive-thru at McDonald's, the girl who valet parks cars at the mall and the lady who is the night janitor at the local grade school. He did however, mix in a few porn stars according to reports I'm not sure it this goes on the dumb, smart or bucket list. As I have said before in other posts, pimpin' and pandering are required freshman classes at Oregon State, my alma mater, but apparently it is not at some of the other Pac-10 schools like Stanford. Now wherever Elin, his wife went to school there is some type of pimp class because either way she wins.  She can leave and get $300-500 million or stay and have a billion. Even that amount of money is not worth the loss of your family.
Here is a question for you;  Why do we care and why is Tiger losing money over it?  At the end of the day Tiger makes ALL of his money.....ALL, not some, not most, ALL because he is a good golfer not because he is a good husband. Yes, he has projected an image but still his money comes from being the best golfer on the planet. I laugh as the companies he endorses pull away from him. They will be the first ones back in line when he comes back and starts dominating the course again. When they come back I hope he makes them pay dearly.
Here is another question; Why do we continue to buy into the images that these people project to us through the media? I mean really when are we going to make up and understand that the truth is the truth we seek and find for ourselves and not what someone tells us.  And why are we slamming this guy?  Anything that is remotely high profile in any community has groupies and unfortunately for Tiger he was weak, sloppy and got caught. He has and will pay dearly. That does not make him any less person than he was before but more light was able to illuminate the truth and the truth is this; Tiger like any other person, athlete, artist, business person or actor that has risen to the top of their respective fields. They are so extraordinarily focused on their field that they are unbalanced in other areas of their lives. I'm not making an excuse for him, I am just making a statement.  People, everyone is messed up enjoy Kobe and Tiger because they are extraordinary at something not because you think they are better people in some way. They are only better at their endeavor.

Passion and Greatness

2009-12-21T13:25:00.000-06:00

It's passion that drives a man to be great! Therefore, in order for him to be great he must find his passion, his muse. Passion for the muse can make him an unstoppable force.
I feel a need to be great that no one understands. Even more confusing is what is it that I am to be great at? Is my muse the obvious one or is it something that is hidden? Am I looking my muse right in the face or is she hiding around the next dark street corner?
A question to ponder. Can a man show passion about something that is not his muse and be a success? I am not sure of any of these answers but I am in search of them.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!!
44Black

WTF???????? Part 2

2009-12-14T15:19:00.001-06:00

So my wife yelled at me for using the word 'degenerate' in relation to her and her sister's recent gambling (Read the prior WTF???? post before reading this one). Of course she was playing online poker while she was yelling at me!?!?!?!?

Just so you know, I have been threatened by the powers that be to not write about her anymore so I am done including her in my blog because I love her very much and I don't want something as silly as a blog to interfere with our relationship.

Anyway, we are sitting around talking and she (wifey) says she isn't sure what we are going to do for dinner because she hasn't had the chance to go to the grocery store. This is another in a long line of WTF moments I have had recently. Most of my WTF moments are self contained, meaning that I think them and maybe put them on this blog. Unfortunately this one got past the screen door and out my mouth before I could finish saying WTF in my head.

"Baby, I don't know what we are having for dinner because I haven't had time to go to Costco or Sam's."

"Oh, I guess you didn't have time because you were too busy gambling at the casino!"

"Oh, OK I've had about enough of you calling me a degenerat gambler. Fine, you know what I am going to go right now!"

Feeling good she is gonna' go, but bad I blurted out the casino comment I laid next to her on the bed (she is playing on line blackjack on the laptop) and said with a big grin, "Hey I did not say degenerate and you don't have to go to the store right now don't worry about it we can figure something out for dinner."

She then frowned at me and said, "I wasn't talking about going to the grocery store!!!!!!! I was talking about going to the casino!!!!!"

...........I stopped grinning and thought to myself, 'WTF????????'

I'm glad I can write about this other stuff instead of my wife and her gambling. Oh, this just in. My wife cancelled our marriage counseling appointment for tomorrow. So, the one time I got something to complain about she cancels our appointment? WTF?????

BTW, sister in law snuck out last night late and came back before morning. If you read this blog on a regular basis you know that this would not be out of the ordinary as she keeps a variety of booty calls on speed dial. I find this curious because it seemed to be very covert. She had just finished telling us that she was 'feenin' for the casino and then she disappears when she thinks everyone is asleep and is back before daybreak? SHADY! She is one of those that will hang around after the booty call until the dude says 'uhmmm, my dog has a vet appointment for his breast cancer vaccination' just to get her out of the house. So her being back is a little weird. I bet she was at the casino.

Remember that line in the Jodeci song, "I can't leave you alone, you got me feenin!"

I'm gonna get to Tiger and Terrell Suggs who may be dumber than Tiger but I don't have all of his facts yet.

That's All I Got!!!
I'm Out?
44Black

WTF????????

2009-12-12T11:10:00.004-06:00

OK, the sister in law (SIL from here on) quit her job. She is now looking for her third job since moving here. I'm pissed because I'm thinking 'Wow, it would be nice to tell everyone at my job to kiss my ass and just walk out' but I can't because I am responsible and have responsibilities. I think an advantage to being crazy is that you can be crazy and reckless.

I know you are thinking that she is just a kid probably 22 and just getting on her feet.....nope she's a grown ass woman in her mid 30's. He living with us was supposed to last a couple of months and it is going on a couple of years. When this is over my wife will pay a steep steep price for this!

Here is the point of this post. On Thursday, I call my wife while I;m at work to see if she wanted to spend some quality time together in the afternoon if I could get some time off. While I'm talking to her I hear all this noise, bells and voices in the background.

She says, "I can't hear you, me and my sister are at the casino."

WTF???????? How are these two jokers in the casino at midday on a Thursday when one is supposed to be studying for finals and the other should be looking for a damn job? The students and jobless people I know are broke. I thought that was a prerequisite but apparently not.

So then several hour later my wife calls asking the question I knew she would ask because I know her and her sister are degenerate gamblers.........

"Can you pick up the baby since you are going to get off early."

'WTF???????????' they then gamble until late in the evening.

So that leaves me to pick up the 4 year old. I pick her up and it is her and I for the evening. She asks for gravy for dinner? Yes gravy, no potato, of meat just gravy. Well since everyone else around here can be irresponsible so can I. She showed me the leftover gravy in the fridge. So I took it out and warmed it up. She ate it like soup. I have Rice Krispies and we were both happy.

The next day I express my displeasure with wanting to spend time with my wife and ending up with a kid, gravy posing as soup and a bowl of Rice Krispies. I was rewarded with my wife and SIL wanting me to go to the casino with them........Again WTF????????

They went to the casino for over 12 hours!!!!! 12 FREAKIN HOURS!!!!!!!! The 4 year old and I ate whatever we saw fit. Ice Cream, Rice Krispie Treats, Cookies and Apples dipped in gravy!

Wifey thinks she can break me off a little sex and that will make things better........break off a lot of sex and I may soften up.......until then this weekend is mine. I am going to sit around and scratch my balls all weekend!!!!! Well, I gotta put up the Christmas tree first.

Finally, I have some ammo for this marriage counseling crap!!!!!!!!

I guess I will talk about Tiger at some point. I will do that next post.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Banana Pudding

2009-11-29T22:01:00.007-06:00

My wife had surgery at the beginning of Thanksgiving week so she was down for the holiday and could not cook. That led to my mother coming to help out including cooking Thanksgiving dinner.

Can I just say that my mom's banana pudding is "The Shiiiiiitttttt!!!!!!!!!!!!" I killed the banana pudding!!!

Where do I start. Maybe I will start with X-mas dinner last year. My wife is usually a very good cook but if you read my post last year during the X-mas holiday you know that my wife cooking with the help of my sister-in-law was not a good combination. It was horrible and I will leave it at that......for more on that disaster look in the archives under April of 2008 and the post is Titled, "I've Been Holding Out."

Anyway, my mom came and put her foot in it. Outstanding!!!!! She even cared for my wife while she was recovering from her surgery. She is the best! My wife was actually a decent patient which usually she is not.......UPDATE since I wrote the previous sentence things changed. Within a few days my wife was on the StairMaster. I told her that if she was going to do things she should not do then she should do something constructive like go outside and rake leaves.

I of course, have a few complaints from the week off. First, my sister-in-law, who was only supposed to live with us for a couple of months after moving here to Chicago but is still with us a couple of years later. She had to work on the day of Thanksgiving at 3pm. She gets paid extra to work on that day right?

My assumption is that you get paid because you spend that day away from your family and maybe you have to miss or eat Thanksgiving Dinner later. Instead of eating later which I think is the proper thing to do she goes into the food and samples everything.......I guess there won't be any pictures of this year's meal since there is one scoop or chunk of meat taken out of everything. I guess I could have taken a picture of the turkey and told friends that we got a discount for buying a turkey with one leg.

Whatever, the Thanksgiving meal was fantastic compared to Christmas of last year. Christmas is up next. Hopefully just my wife will be in the kitchen this year and all will be well.

That's All I Got!

I'm Out!!

44Black

I'm Tired

2009-11-01T00:12:00.004-05:00

What makes a man a man? When does a man becomes the man he is to be? When does he become that person who will make an impact on the world. When does he have the experience that molds him into that man? Or is it that he is having that experience all throughout his life?

All of these questions are perplexing to me. Am I having an impact on the world? Does anyone even give a damn? Well, I do give a damn and that is the problem. My way of loving and giving to the world means nothing to anyone and no one cares that I do it. Does that mean I continue to give or do I just change the way I give and just get 'mine'.

That's All I Got!!!
I'm Out!!
44Black

Life and Pain

2009-10-29T06:51:00.002-05:00

It saddens and angers me to watch someone suffer at the hands of another. Especially someone close to me who has lived through, as a child, horrible decisions that the adults around them have made. Adults have the responsibility to shape the lives of their children in a positive manner. Problem is, some of them are either insane or just don't care. I've watched as my friend continues to suffer as an adult from bizarre decisions that were made when she was a kid.

I wish I could fix it for her and others. Some of us, me included, start out in this world with less than optimal situations and the residual affect sticks with us unless we do something about it. My friend is trying as am I but I hate to see the pain and angst she has as she moves to change what she sees in the mirror. It's weird but that mirror can fool you. You project an image that others see yet that image is different when you look at your self in the mirror. The difficult task is making the two match.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

The Death of America's Kids

2009-10-17T15:23:00.002-05:00

More and more kids continue to day in the streets of America with a great number of them dying right here at home in Chicago. I am troubled by the death of our children. Usually over nothing or something so trivial you could not imagine someone losing their life over it.

Last week, an honor student was beat to death by a group of kids with a railroad tie and it was caught on tape. The no snitching rule was in full effect. No one would talk to authorities. At least the video allowed for arrests. The no snitching rule was meant for the part of the streets that police themselves, in other words, gangster on gangster. The rule was not meant for the death of innocents, which are kids just trying to get back and forth to school.

This week in Florida 4 kids set another kid on fire over a bike!?!?!?!? I truly don't understand the mentality that would allow anyone to set someone on fire. The four kids had tried to steal the bike from the kid (the bike actually belonged to his father) and the kid told on the four kids. So they set him on fire as retaliation. Absolutely Crazy!!

I am troubled because I care and I am confused as to what to do. Is it not my job or my responsibility because I live outside of the areas most affected by this plight? Some would say, most say actually, based on their lack of action that it is not their job. I say that it is all of our jobs. In fact, even those that live in the neighborhoods have shown they don't care.

So how do I help? I volunteer coach and mentor kids but the kids I work with don't really need it or at least they think they don't.

I've thought of creating some type of mentoring program but that does not keep the streets from reaching out to kill kids on the way to school. How do you make sure every kid has safe passage to school? Is it even possible? The bigger questions are 'How do you get people to care?' and 'How do you get kids to value their own and others lives?' and 'How do we create an an environment that kids think and actually have opportunities to make something of their lives?'

I don't have answers to these questions and I feel guilty that I don't. All I know is my guilt grows with every death. Our country pours money out to every country in the world to help them with their problems. When are we truly going to address our own problems. I guess we won't until we can have a truly open and honest conversation regarding race. Just like the health care debate. I will let you know when I figure out what my actions may be.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Marriage Counseling Conspiracy

2009-09-26T20:17:00.003-05:00

I don't think I have ever really been a conspiracy theorist but something smells funny around these parts.

If you have been reading this blog then you know that I have been attending marriage counseling the last few weeks. You also know that our counselor has the ability to find this blog thanks to my lovely better half so I guess I must be somewhat gentle in these counseling related posts so that my 'anger' is not overly psychoanalyzed. I don't want to be profiled as the 'angry black man.'

Just as a side note marriage counseling provides my wife with this checklist. If I don't do something that is on her checklist then she just says, "We need to talk to the counselor about this." About what? since when is counseling supposed to be about leverage.......I ain't scared. OK, I decided not to brush my teeth today. Does that mean we have to talk about it in counseling or does it mean that you might not want to be directly in my face talking today?

Back to the point of this message. I have found out through the grapevine that two couples that we are friends with are also going to marriage counseling. HMMMMMM, very interesting. How is it that 3 couples that know each other pretty well all start counseling at about the same time? Coincidence????? I think not!

My wife can tell me what ever she wants to but this is not coincidence. I can see it now. They are having lunch somewhere and one of them says that they are going to counseling and the others thinking, "Ughmmm, if they are going to counseling then surely we should be in counseling."

Then she says who is your counselor? They exchange information and the rest is history. I wonder if we get some group bulk rate. Maybe we could all go to counseling together and have group therapy. Now I would be open to that! That would be fun because at least one or both of the husbands are widely acknowledged to be bigger assholes than me. Outside of my house of course!

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Random Political Thoughts

2009-09-16T08:04:00.002-05:00

So George Bush even thought that Sarah Palin was under qualified to be Vice-President. In the new book "Speech-less: Tales of a White House Survivor" by Matt Latimer, Bush is quoted as saying, "This woman is being put in a position she is not even remotely prepared for." He also is quoted as saying, "What is she, the governor of Guam?"

Bush was not even close to being my favorite President but he was funny and entertaining. I'd love to have a beer with him, he seems like a fun guy. We got him sober, imagine how fun it would have been had we got the partying George W. Bush. A partying Clinton, and then a partying Bush right after might have been too much for our country.

One thing is for sure, Former President George W. Bush is certainly someone who knows about people who are under qualified for jobs!

It's one thing to write our opinions and have a little fun at the expense of some of our leaders. It is another when these people are boldly disrespectful....especially to the President. I think U.S. Rep Joe Wilson should be kicked out of the House of Representatives. Calling President Obama a 'liar' is disrespectful on its' own, but doing it in front of a national audience during a speech, sends a signal that it is OK to disrespect this Black man, even if he is President of the United States.

Even former President Jimmy Carter agrees. "I think it's based on racism," Carter said at a town hall held at his presidential center in Atlanta. "There is an inherent feeling among many in this country that an African-American should not be president."

"Those kind of things are not just casual outcomes of a sincere debate on whether we should have a national program on health care," he said. "It's deeper than that."

“I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he is African-American," Carter said.
“Racism ... still exists and I think it has bubbled up to the surface because of a belief among many white people, not just in the south but around the country, that African-Americans are not qualified to lead this great country. It’s an abominable circumstance and grieves me and concerns me very deeply,” Carter told NBC News.

It troubles me also. At least finally some significant Whites are protesting the health care debate and whether or not it is a debate on race. It is clearly a debate on race.

The disrespect for the Presidency really troubles me. Even if you set race aside it is still an issue. President Nixon disrespected the office with his actions as did President Clinton. Someone even threw shoes at President Bush, a symbol of disrespect in that culture. What happened to that guy anyway? We never heard anything else about that guy. They might have shot him.

Joe Wilson is a punk!

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Couseling Continues

2009-09-15T20:56:00.002-05:00

OK, we had our 3rd marriage counseling session today. It was a constructive session until the end when my wife went too far. She told the counselor that I have a blog and that I blog about our counseling.

I thought to myself, "Come on woman is there anything that is sacred?"

Apparently not, so I had to give him the blog site. It's like your pastor finding out that you have a subscription to Playboy. Or better yet like your mom finding beer bottles in your bottom drawer as a senior in high school.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

2009-09-15T07:38:00.003-05:00

There is nothing better when a guy goes down at the top of his game and people question if he can come back and be the man he was. It gives him the opportunity to find out what he is made of.

Tom Brady led his team to a comeback win over the Bills last night and He did it in the pre-injury Tom Brady fashion. I know it is just one game but, I think he is back and he appreciates being back. In interviews, he has expressed his appreciation for being a part of the game and how no player including himself is bigger than the game. He has also expressed the need to earn the respect of his teammates so that they would allow him to lead them.

Refreshing, lessons for life.

That's All I Got!

I'm Out!

44Black

10 Minutes of Fun

2009-09-11T22:35:00.005-05:00

If marriage counseling is not your idea does that mean you will be the one to get gut punched every time you walk in there? I think it does.

Last week our assignment was to list 15 things that we could do for the other person. I spent time on it then we did nothing with it????????

This week we are supposed to have fun together for 10 minutes a day. What can you do for fun in 10 minutes? Sex? Then what do you do for the other 7 minutes?

Fun takes time. I can't scratch my butt in 10 minutes.

Seriously, the counseling has been beneficial.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Marriage Counseling WTF?????

2009-09-04T04:51:00.005-05:00

Today is our first day of marriage counseling, WTF?????? Yea, marriage counseling. Apparently, I am the devil. Admittedly, I have done some stupid things, and we have disagreed on some things but marriage counseling? It seems to be a little much to me.

I guess I have some things to gripe about too, but I don't feel the need to gripe to someone else about it. I'm not sure how we go to this point, going to counseling that is. Even when we aren't getting along we seem to get along OK. Maybe I'm dumb though. Dumb and the Devil......not a good combination.

I'm not sure what I am in for. My wife is a closet attorney (that means she watches Law and Order around the clock) so she will come extremely prepared for this first session. I feel like a lamb being led to slaughter. On top of my obvious indiscretions I am sure she will have photos of me drinking directly out of the Orange Juice jug when I think no one is around. Or photos of me when I'm looking at her underwear in the laundry basket. Clean underwear if you are wondering, I'm not that nasty.

She will have a stack of documents and instances where I have betrayed her, been insensitive or ignored her. Me? I will just be there dick in hand waiting to be smacked around by my wife and what I am sure is some sort of feminist sympathizer of a counselor. I had no input on who the counselor is so I am sure she has stacked the deck there too. I am so screwed! It's like I am the halfway insane, but sane enough to defend myself defendant in court. The prosecutor comes in with three attorneys, each with briefcases full of documents to prove my guilt. Each one of them has a law clerk carrying boxes of evidence that will lead to my conviction. Me? I have one document that says, "HELP" on it. I think I'm in trouble.

I love my wife so I am going to dive on this grenade. My strategy is to let her go first. Just like on Law and Order the prosecutor goes first. Then I will come back and complain about some stuff after defending myself. Problem is the prosecution in this case may take 6 months because I am the devil after all and there will be plenty to bitch about.

That All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Vernon Forrest

2009-07-26T23:50:00.002-05:00

The world is a crazy place. Vernon Forrest, a great boxer in his day, was killed in a car jacking in the ATL. He was putting some air in his tires when two guys tried to rob him. His girlfriend's son was in the car so he couldn't just let the car go. He gave chase and they shot him 7-8 times.

The world is a dangerous place. More and more it makes me want to move to the country and but some guns.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Chose to Win

2009-07-26T23:42:00.003-05:00

Why do we chose mediocrity? Why do we not chose to win or try to win all the time. I find that most of the time I am my own barrier to success.

I've done well in life but I could be doing a lot better by staying out of my own way!

Most of the time I find a way to win in life. Most of the time I put myself in a position to win, that way I have a shot at the title. Unfortunately, there are times when I say I want to win but I don't do the things to put myself in a position to win.....why I ask?

I don't have an answer to that question, but I am going to find it and apply it to my life. I need to raise my winning percentage.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Steve McNair

2009-07-08T00:42:00.004-05:00

First of all. I feel terrible for Steve McNair's wife and family. He did not deserve what he got and we may never know the whole story.

The truth of the matter is, this guy was an idiot! Who goes all in with a 19 going on 20 year old when you are 36, married, 4 kids and a millionaire? Did he not read the playa' handbook? Apparently not because he lost his life over it. I know this sounds insensitive but damn, how did he get into that situation?

OK you meet a 19 year old at Hooters or Dave and Busters or KFC or where ever she worked, and you decide she is the one? If you are going to cheat, cheat with someone who is old enough to drink and sensible enough not to cause trouble in your life.

Turns out she shot McNair while he was sleeping on the couch. How did he get mixed up with this piece of work? I'm sad and disgusted!

That's all I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Quick Random Thoughts

2009-07-04T07:45:00.002-05:00

Here's a few random thoughts:

First - Sarah Palin thinks that if she pays back the money that she used for clothes, and family vacations then that makes it OK. Actually, if you misuse taxpayer dollars then you are wrong. It doesn't matter that you pay it back later, you are flat out wrong. This lady disgusts me. Our political leaders should be highly intelligent and ethically strong. She is neither. She has shown in interviews that she is not highly intelligent, she cannot manage her own home and she has spent $$$$ from the GOP and the state of Alaska in an inappropriate manor.

Now Palin is resigning her Governorship? Is it possible that she is resigning so that she can focus running for President in 2012? I hope not!!!!! Can't she just go away or if not, get a reality show. That way we can watch you without giving you the keys to the country.

I don't understand why we the American people put up with such second rate people. We are turning into a country of classic underachievers. Actually, Sarah Palin is an overachiever because she is playing way over her head. The problem is that we the American people take whatever, or whomever is put in front of us and we believe whatever lies they tell us. Somewhere in the last 20 years we stopped seeking the truth even when it was right in front of us. We let the liars tell us that the duck in front of us is not a duck. We believe them when they tell us that the duck is actually a dog. We are stupid!

Second - The economy still sucks!

Third - Michael Jackson is gone. He seemed to be a troubled soul. I hope he is at peace now. Yes, he became a punchline at the end but he was truly an Icon and he will be missed.

Fourth - Do something this week to improve the world.

That's All I Got!

I'm Out!

44Black

AIG is Our Economic Poster Child

2009-03-22T06:31:00.003-05:00

Let's see, who else can we bail out? We (our government) are bailing out everyone but me.....somebody who really needs it. We have managed to bring our open market system to the doorstep of socialism by bailing out everybody lined up at the door for a handout.

Yes, I understand that some of these companies (AIG) have to be bailed out to avoid catastrophe in the U.S. and world economies. But isn't that what is supposed to happen in market economies? Isn't it supposed to be that if you are not conducting your business in a proper and profitable manner then you are overtaken by the competition and eventually go bankrupt and/or close your doors? Unfortunately, greed and a lack of business ethics has led to an economic tsunami consisting of falling stock prices, no available credit/lending and rapidly decreasing real estate sales and prices. This has brought our system to its knees and forced the government to start bailing out banks and other companies at an alarming rate.

The question is, where does it stop? When do we say that this is a market economy with winners and losers and we can't save you? AIG had to be saved because if they went down they would take 70 major companies with them and countless jobs also. Problem is, AIG's survival is still questionable and they are handing out bonuses with no second thoughts until the people cried out. These bonuses are a difficult issue. If we are a market economy then the market dictates an executives pay package. Yes, it looks obscene to the guy making $50,000/year and this executive is getting a $5,000,000 bonus from a company that has been bailed out with the $50K guys tax dollars. I'm sure AIG was legally obligated to pay the bonuses but the government should have had a better handle on this prior to the bonuses being paid out.

But if you don't pay bonuses you can't draw the best executives to run the best companies. That is what is supposed to happen in an open market open competition system. Maybe they are not the best if you look at their performances recently. I am afraid the government is going to get too heavy handed with the conditions connected to these bailouts and this may force the best executives to go overseas and make those companies the biggest, best and most powerful.

Greed is a given in our system but where are the ethics? I wouldn't let my company give me a huge bonus at the end of a year where we were nearly went bankrupt and accepted a huge bailout package from the government. Bonuses dive business at all levels without question. But I do think we need to have very clear simple bonus structures that compensate you fairly and have the executives direct and company's overall performance connected to it.

Personally, the economy is kicking my butt and I have had to make some difficult decisions in my business. I am making cutbacks at home too because home is a business also. The economic times dictate that tough decisions and sacrifices need to be made by people willing to make them. Those not willing, have their heads in the sand or are too paralyzed to make these kinds of decisions will be buried by the economic tsunami.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!!
44Black

OK, Desregard Previous Post.

2009-03-22T06:10:00.003-05:00

This is an official retraction. The Cowboys may not suck after all. Jerry Jones is not as stubborn as I thought. He has sent T.O. on his way to destroy another locker room, told Adam 'Pacman' Jones to get the hell out of town all together and he got rid of the statue imitating a guy playing pass coverage in Roy Williams. Talk about cleaning house and doing what you gotta do. I am proud of Jerry....I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks after all!!! This doesn't mean all problems are solved in Cowboy land but it's a start.

I know it's a sin to be talking about this while March Madness is going on but I had to mention it. Plus my bracket sucks, the Midwest Region has destroyed me. You gotta love the upsets though!

That's all I got!

I'm Out!!!!

44Black

The Cowboys Suck!!!!!!!!

2008-12-29T05:50:00.008-06:00

My favorite team since I was a kid is the Cowboys and they showed what they were made of yesterday. They showed that they are weak and lack any intestinal fortitude. The mental and physical nature of the game eventually exposes you for what you are. What ever weakness you have it will be shown and exposed to the light. This is worse than the 1-15 team years ago. At least we knew that team was bad. This one always kept you hoping for more.

Though I am embarrassed that the team did not make the playoffs I am glad this debacle of a season is over. I can only hope that Jerry Jones will come to his senses and realize that he is not a great evaluator of talent and that he needs to step out of the way. He needs to just be an owner and stop interfering in day to day operations and talent evaluation. This is probably what happened with Bill Parcells who just finished taking a 1-15 Dolphin team to 11-5 in one year!

Imagine if Bill could have called all the shots and stayed in Dallas. There would be no T.O. Jones force Owens on Parcells. There would be no coach in waiting. The performance of the Dallas offense this year showed that the appointment of Jason Garrett to 'Coach in Waiting' is premature. There would be no Wade Phillips as a lame duck coach. Phillips is a good man and a great Defensive Coordinator but not a head coach. Some people are great as the 'man next to the man' but not 'the man' if you know what I mean.

Also, let's face the fact that Owens has destroyed another locker room. He is a divider rather than a unifier in the locker room. HE MUST GO! This is priority number 1. If he does not go then the other moves that must be made will not matter.

There are some tough decisions to be made. I know Jerry Jones has the reputation of a tough businessman. I hope he has the ability to make these tough decisions while looking in the mirror.

I do live in Chicago, maybe I could switch to the hometown team. Oh, I forgot they suck too!!!!

That's All I Got!

I'm Out!!!

44Black

Stop Texting in My House!!!!!

2008-12-20T06:13:00.003-06:00

What's wrong with the people in my house? What's wrong with people in general. I love modern technology and what it has done for us. But I don't like that people are forgetting how to communicate with each other face to face.

For instance, the people in my house send text messages to each other instead of walking in the next room and saying something. My sister-in-law(SIL from here on), lives with us and is a little whacky (see "Sister in Law" and "I've been holding" out posts).

SIL is kind of a hermit. I see her once every three days as she is walking out to the back yard to have a smoke in 3 degree temperatures. Otherwise, she is at work or in her room. She wants a husband, bad.....not sure how it works these days but I think you actually have to go out of the house and meet people and then you meet your future sucker I mean husband somewhere in the process.

Who knows, maybe one day he will just come knocking on the front door and say, "Hi, I'm looking for a single, smoking, ass flashing (again see previous posts), dog having, hermit-like SIL? Do you have one because if so, I want to marry her!"

Sorry, that is not the point of this post. Here is the point. SIL will lay in the bed and shoot me a text message, while I am in the house. The other day she shot me a text because she could hear me in the kitchen.....she was 10 feet away on the other side of a wall! Get up and talk! Although it would have been a senseless conversation because the text said, "Will you walk me down the aisle when I get married?" Stop laughing, 'cause I'm serious.

SIL will even use her cell to call one of us in the house on the house phone. If she doesn't get you on the house phone she will try you on the cell. So I'm thinking, she will try to communicate in every possible form of communication before she will get off her ass and come talk to one of us.

Then my daughter, 16 years old and just as whacky does the same stuff. I tell her stop sending texts to people in the house. She came in the house the other night and sent me a text saying "I'm home". WHAT? You better bring your tail upstairs so I can put my eyes on you!

I've even gotten sucked into doing it. I don't feel like walking downstairs so I send a text.....this is madness and must stop. Next we will be standing next to each other and we will be sending texts instead of talking.

Does anyone else have this problem? Maybe it is me. Maybe I am so hideous or my breathe is so bad that it is less painful to text me.

My wife got upset with me for sending a text while we were on a date. I thought it was better than having a phone conversation?! Apparently not, she took my phone like I was a little kid or something....I protested by not talking to her. She ruined the date or technology did in some strange way.

That's All I Got!

I'm Out!

44Black

Economics

2008-12-18T05:45:00.003-06:00

The economy is kickin' my ass! I am getting killed! 401K gone way down, can't move or refi my real estate, can't dump enough debt.....Hard Times for all.

"Hard times will take you on a natual trip.

So keep your balance and don't you slip.

Hard times in life Hard times in death,

I'm gonna keep on fighting 'till my very last breath!

Hard Times" RUNDMC

That's what I'm doing.....fighting 'till my very last breath! Fighting to stay alive and keep my business alive gives me this strange, positive energy. I think I thrive on the pressure. Win or lose I like the pressure that tells me that I must do the right things to win. Problem is it's not a game it's real life with dire consequences if I lose.

I'm taking some real chances right now that will pay if I can make it through the next year. Question is can I make it through until then?

The Fed just cut the target interest rate to a range of 0-.025%. That will eventually help housing but not sure what will happen in the meanwhile. If everything else falls apart it won't matter what housing does down the road.

I'm nervous but not afraid to take a chance. The only method that is 100% sure to fail is not trying.

That's All I Got!

I'm Out!

44Black

Police Report

2008-12-06T07:07:00.003-06:00

Bye-Bye Juice. It's been a long time coming. O.J. has been jail time waiting to happen for a long time. Where is Johnnie Cochran when you need him? Sorry Juice Johnnie is no longer with us RIP and neither are you in a different way.

This guy is not smart. He shoots himself in the leg at a club. He does not have a permit for the gun....a mandatory 3.5 years in the pokey under NY law. It will be interesting to see if he really goes to jail.

This guy makes $7-$8 million per year. Why can't he just hire a bodyguard?

That's All I Got!

I'm Out!

44Black

D-Wade's Gear

2008-12-06T07:06:00.004-06:00

What the hell is D.Wade wearing? He looks like a doorman. Who told him that pants with pockets on the legs was OK with a coat and tie?

I just put his woman up here 'cause she's hot. I dumped her to be with my wife 'cause my wife is hotter! Maybe she is dressing D.Wade these days and wants him to look like a sucka' when she is away.

That's All I Got!

I'm Out!

44Black

My Wife Doubts Me

2008-12-06T06:15:00.002-06:00

My wife became upset with me when I said that she was making me want her because she has been cooking a lot lately. I've been on her to spend less money on eating out. She has responded and I like it.

So I walked in the kitchen a couple of days ago and she was cooking. I grabbed her from behind and whispered in her ear, "seeing you cooking here is making me hot, take me now!"

She promptly got upset and told me to get away from her. I don't get it, she says she is not appreciated for what she does. I try to show some appreciation by giving some Italian Sausage, ,well African American Sausage, and I am rejected? She actually doubted my sincerity. I was truly sincere, I wanted her. I was willing to wait because I would be pissed if the food was burnt.

I've asked her out on two dates since then and she has rejected me on both occasions. What is she crazy.....has she seen how hot I am? I think not.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Sarah Palin is a Pimp

2008-12-06T05:16:00.002-06:00

Now that the election is over, where is John McCain? I have not seen him anywhere, yet Sarah Palin is everywhere. She is campaigning in Georgia in a key race, she has book deals and she has book deals that she is mulling over.
What does john McCain have? Apparently nothing. Wouldn't it be logical that John McCain, the man who won the republican nomination for President of the United States be campaigning in Georgia in that key race that could change the balance of power in Washington, D.C.? Shouldn't the man who was tortured as a prisoner of war, a true American Hero, have the book and movie deals?
While I am not a fan of either person, I must say that Sarah Palin is a pimp and I admire her for it. She has walked on the political scene from a place where no one had heard of her and become the face of the Republican Party. She pimped john McCain!!!! He brought her in to put him over the top in the election. Instead, she blew the election for him (he would have lost anyway but by a lesser margin) and took all his power and notoriety and sent him off into the sunset. There is even talk of her running for President in the next election.
Personally, I think she is very under qualified to be President or any other high ranking official. No I am not a sexist, I am perfectly fine with other female politicians. I just think she lacks the mental fortitude and composure needed for such responsibility. the Katie Couric interview was a prime example. Any good politician, prepared or not, would have at least come across as competent in that situation. Not only did she come across as unprepared, she came across as bumbling and unintelligent.
Now, I do think she is qualified for our current climate of people being very successful and considered very talented for doing absolutely nothing. See, Kim Kardashian, Paris Hilton and any number of reality show people for examples. As a matter of fact she may be over qualified. She has been a mayor, a governor and she is kind of attractive. Books, movies and pointless celebrity should be just fine for her.

That's all I got!
I'm Out!
44Black

History

2008-11-04T21:05:00.002-06:00

Today, I made history by completing a mission for Barack Obama. I reached the polls at 6 a.m. There was already 30-40 people waiting in line. I waited patiently until it was time to complete my mission. When it was my time I stepped forward and cast my vote for Obama and Biden.

After completing my mission, I felt like I was part of something. That, is the magic of Barack Obama. He has made us all feel like we are part of something, something new and something different than what we have had before.

His election does not solve our problems and he still has to deliver on campaign promises but he has delivered on Hope already. These rough economic times, the war and the racial internal strife of our country desperately calls for Hope. Barack Obama, has supplied us with that Hope.

Now as I am watching the returns on TV, Obama has just reached 283 delegates.......its a wrap.....History has been made.

President Barack Obama!!! I could not be more proud to be an American/African American today. I am looking forward to the next four years.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!!!!!
44Black

A Black President?!?!?!?!

2008-11-01T23:40:00.003-05:00

I can't explain how excited and proud I am to have a Black President Elect in a few days! What a moment in history.

How far have we come from having Jesse run just to represent our (African-American)interests to having a canidate in Barack Obama whom the American people respect enough to elect as the representative of all of our interests? This will be a wonderful moment in history and I am glad to be a part of it.

On the other hand future President Obama will be taking over a country that is in financial and economic turmoil. Hopefully, the worst will be over when he assumes power and he and his cabinet will be responsible for the rebuilding process.

He will definetly however have his hands full with the war that is also draining our economy.

Sara Palin?????

2008-10-03T06:28:00.002-05:00

Are they serious. Is McCain serious? Are the American people really that dumb. The fact that some Americans are buying into Sara Palin is hilarious and at the same time insulting. I am insulted that some people are going to vote for the McCain/Palin ticket who previously were Clinton supporters just because Palin is a woman????? What??? Are you serious? So should I vote for Obama because he is African-American? Absolutely not.

Here is another subject. People are just sweeping under the rug that her 17 year old daughter is unwed and pregnant. OK, we should not attack the kid but we should question Palin on her belief in not educating kids about sex and teaching abstinence. Why should we follow this kind of leadership when it does not even work in her own home? Let's really be honest. What would happen if Barack Obama's daughters were older and one became pregnant at 17? There would be nuclear fallout regarding Senator Obama's lack of leadership and control in his own home. I won't even mention the racial stereotypes that would come with the situation also.

Listening to this lady answer questions is confusing. I had to turn off the Vice Presidential debate last night because her answers were all over the board for straightforward questions. She does not have enough experience to be in a position where she could possibly rule our country. She was governor of a state with a population of 650,000 people. Barack Obama's constituency when he was a state senator was 750,000 people. Additionally, Obama truly represents change and a new type of leadership in this country and around the world.

I am just lost as to why people would continue to support McCain. I can understand hard core republicans who will vote republican no matter what but what about the other people?

I'm frustrated and embarrassed.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

I Have Nothing

2008-08-17T01:19:00.006-05:00

I have nothing to talk about. I mean, I have a lot to talk about but don't feel like writing. I'm at the tail end of my remodel on my latest real estate project. I have a lot of little details to cover like.....where do I get the rest of the money for this deal? I have burned so much cash on this deal that I don't want to pour more in. Problem is, I can't turn back now, I gotta finish the house. It looks great. As a matter of fact, its done. I just need to pay the money.

My buyer is getting his financing together. Hopefully, that will go as planned then maybe I can make some money.

I guess the question I have for myself is......Why don't I do more in real estate? I love it, it is one of 3 things I'm passionate about in my life (Coaching and family are the others). This is the best time of my life to purchase more real estate and lay down the foundation for the future. I'm doing it but I could be doing more. I could be raising more money. If I could raise more capital I could kill.

I need to lay out more of my business on paper so I can show it to perspective investors. I have done all of these things successfully but I could do much more. I just need to start.

So what stops a person from doing the things they need to do to be successful? I have asked this question of you and of me before in this blog and the funny thing is that I have the answer.....We all have the answer inside of us. You have to do things in spite of your fear. People have a fear of success. I'm included in this group. I really don't think people have an idea of how powerful that fear could be. I've been marginally successful, but not due to failure of projects. I've only been marginally successful due to my lack of action.

Insecurity and fear can eat you alive and paralyze you. Don't let it happen to you. Stay in the fight and keep moving. Also, we must THINK BIG! I have not been thinking big enough. I have to think bigger. I need to move to buy larger projects or multiple projects at once.

I am committing now to take more action. I will complete this project and solve my funding issue for this project in the next two days. I will have a complete picture of my business on paper by the end of next week 8-22-08. The following week I will make moves to attract more capital to my company.

That's All I Got!

I'm Out!

44Black

Sister-in-Law

2008-07-31T00:47:00.002-05:00

Yes it has been 7 months and my sister in law is still living with us (check prior posts) I have posted some pretty scandalous stuff on her so I must put out the bad and the good. She actually has not gotten on my nerves lately. I'm not sure what that's about.

I do wish she would stop smoking where the kids can see. I also wish she would stop walking up and down my driveway in a pink and black robe (yes in prior posts she wore purple, I think she wore out the purple one) house shoes, a plaid fishing hat, big black sunglasses and smoking a cig. She says that this get up makes her feel incognito and like no one can see her!?!?!?!? What?!?!?! How do you not see the crazy looking MF in the neighbor's driveway pacing, smoking and talking loud on a cell phone. Maybe that's normal. What the hell do I know?

Oh, and she wants to get rid of her dog in order to get 2 more??? What?!?!?!? When you are at someone else's house with a dog that your host did not know about until the last minute you don't go get two untrained dog and plug in the mix!!!!! Yes, she is paying rent but the rent is discounted so that means you can't do whatever the hell you want to. Since when are dogs disposable???? Do you just drop your dog off in the woods and go buy another???? That does not seem right. I thought you are supposed to be attached to your dog and keep it until it dies. She just thinks her dog is not as cute as my kids dog so she wants another.....excuse me another two dogs.

OK, I went off a little there but she really hasn't been bad lately.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Life, Real Estate, Football

2008-07-30T23:47:00.003-05:00

LIFE

Today, I watched two friends fall out with each other over some petty stuff. They are two very different people who just could not find a way to get along. I tried to look out for both of them in this situation and pull them together and it just would not work so they chose to go their own ways. One fired the other and then tried to take it back the next day......too late. Damage done and now the fired is out for the firee's ass.

REAL ESTATE

I'm sad and stressed. I got a real estate project wrapping up. I remodeled a house that is in a decent area yet the crackheads (can't think of a better name for those who steal shit, oh yea cluckers) keep trying to break in. 5 times in two months! They have cost me about $2000 so far on this project. That's just in damage. That does not count an additional $2500 in security precautions. Just when we thought we had the joint secure these fools climbed a tree jumped through the screen on the sundeck and tossed a brick through the window on the back door. They climbed the tree again but I put a steel security door there and they just left.

The is nothing to steal. We don't leave tools in the property and we attach everything when we bring it in the house. So the opportunity to smash and grab is not there. They would have to bring some tools and spend a long time at the house to detach anything. The neighbors are watching. They have called us to let us know what was going on.

I need to get this thing rented until I sell it. I feel like I can't even let the thing sit by itself for one night. I may have to hold this property for a while so now I've got to scramble and put someone in the house. How do I find a decent renter in a matter of days? I think I am going to try to move a renter from one of my other units into this one. It will be a sweet deal for who ever gets this spot. It will be like moving into a new house.

Anyway, I just have to make it happen by getting someone in there. Then I have to worry about getting my money out the deal. Meanwhile, I am going broke.

FOOTBALL

It is that time of year again.....Football season. I love this time of year because I coach. I am a member of the youth football board and am in charge of coordinating the coaches. I have never seen a bigger bunch of egos for little kid football. It is crazy.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Random Thoughts and a Possible Murder

2008-07-27T22:53:00.003-05:00

OK, my sister got married late last year. I think I have talked about my Brother-in-law somewhere in this soliloquy of silly, sad, sane, happy, insane and neurotic thoughts. You know, the one who chews his toenails. If I haven't told that one request it and I will tell it.

Anyway, I have not heard of or seen the brother since they got married. Now, they do live on the east coast and I am in Chicago but it seems to me that I would have heard from him by phone or something.

Every time I talk to my sister she says he is out of town.....every time. ODD?!?!?! He did reply to one of my text messages once but of course she has his cell phone. My sister can be hot tempered too. She may have did like the show and SNAPPED!!! Hopefully she just has him whipped and under control.

The Dark Knight is great. I was thinking they over hyped Ledger's performance but I must say he was impressive as the Joker.

I must say I enjoyed Iron Man also. No extraordinary performances but a good movie.

Hancock missed the mark. I still enjoyed it because I enjoy Will Smith but the movie could have been so much more. It could have been so dark. There is so much they could have done with a super hero with super problems. Hancock's loneliness, depression and alcoholism could have been the springboard to a good movie but they took the easy route by throwing in a few good laughs and some overdone special effects.

Football season starts tmw. I love to coach so I look forward to this time of year. I'm putting in a new offense this year and have a new coaching staff. Should be a good challenge.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Life with a Purpose

2008-07-27T21:31:00.002-05:00

I've talked before with my boredom with life. Is it because I don't have a purpose? How do you acquire a purpose in life and is that why I don't work with passion and purpose? I think my sports background handicaps me because after you do your thing in front of thousands of people it takes a lot to make your blood flow.

I need a mission. One that I'm proud of, one that makes me get up in the morning. What's missing from a man when he does not have a mission?

I see these people around me that are passioante about their endeavors. On the job for instance I see people competing with each other and fighting for what they want. I just look at them and think, why are you fighting so hard to complete someone elses vision? Why not develop and fight for your own vision? I have developed the vision but I don't fight for it. How do I fix that. Maybe I do fight, but I know I have a lot more fight and passion in me?????? I'm not sure, but I know that something is missing.

I have a job and I have a business. My job I say I want to leave for my business. I love my business yet I don't work at it passionatley, Why?

I feel taken for granted at home. I feel like I look out for everyone else but I don't look out for me. Others look out for me but that does not matter. I feel like so much is expected of me from my family yet it's not appreciated.

I can't get upset at home and have it just be acknowledged. Instead I get met with complaints of my inadequacies (not sexual, I am the man there thatnks). I am open to those complaints but not in reaction to my complaints. I have the right to complain right? Why don't I? Everyone else in my life gets to bitch and moan about random shit and so do I.

Random Thought: I saw The Black Knight......Good Shit!!!!! I'll be seeing that at IMAX. I also saw the trailer for a new Pacino, DeNiro movie that looks good. As does the new Bond flick. I haven't really been into Bond for years but I hear that Casino Royal is good with the new cat. I will check it out before going to the new one.

I got more bitchin to do but I will finish later. BTW my friend and kind of business partner wants to do a radio show. Could be interesting.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

NBA Finals

2008-07-27T21:14:00.002-05:00

Well I called it. Boston in 7. OK so I wasn't quite right, the C's made it a rap in six. I'm happy for KG and the gang although I'm not traditionally a Celtic fan. Now the Lakers on the other hand. They folded their tents and went home when they found out what real defense looks like in the NBA playoffs.

Now they already let Posey go to the Hornets in free agency. I think he was the most important guy of the bench for Boston. Who does not need a strong defender and a guy who can shoot the three? Look out for the Hornets next year.

As for the Lakers they will be strong but how strong? Will Andrew Bynum come back? Will he be the same as he was when he left? Was his incredible start to the season a fluke? If it was a fluke then the Lakers will have the same ending as they had this year. If it was not a fluke then look out NBA, the Lakers will be playing at the end of next year quite possibly with a different result.

How about Baron, whom I love in a man-love sports kind of way, signing with the Clippers supposedly to team with Eldon Brand? Then, Brand turns and bolts to Philly? Strange. Guys say they want to win but I don't know. I know that Philly has a good thing going but come on, good things were happening in LA too (you can insert joke here but I am referring to the Clippers). I guess the Clip's are destined to always be the Clip's.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

2008-06-08T00:26:00.003-05:00

I'm not sure if life is weird or if I'm weird. I'm bored, I'm frustrated and I'm not sure what to do about it. I live in Chicago, one of the greatest cities in the world but if I don't do the Chicago stuff all the time why should we like here. I can run my business from anywhere so why pay the high price of living in Chicago. But then if we move to a smaller cheaper place I may be bored just being the 'family guy'. Not that I don't love my family, I'm just not identified by it. I am much more and have much more that I want to do.

I'm not the most patient person in the world. Maybe I need to give Chicago more time.

While most of my business is flowing well but my house is part of my business and it is a piece of shit. Apiece of shit in a beautiful 'hood. The cost to make the property 'righteous' is way too much for this market. The cost is much more than I thought it would be......rookie mistake I made....get all the pricing together before signing on the dotted line. Every time I turn around something goes wrong here. It's like that movie 'Money Pit'. Anyway this house is a monument to my failure to take care of my family.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

NBA Playoffs

2008-06-07T23:47:00.002-05:00

Somehow Kobe and the Lakers have made their way into the NBA Finals. I'm not sure how to feel about it. I used to love the Lakers but my allegiance left with Shaq. On top of that I've always hated Kobe. I have always thought he was too contrived. We never see the real Kobe or at least feel like we are seeing the real Kobe. We all knew we didn't know the real Mike but at least he made us feel like we knew him.

Anyway, somehow the Lakers have played their way back into my heart. I'm not admitting it yet though. I'm like the guy who dumped his chick 'cause she wasn't keeping her look tight. Then, he sees her out and she looks good as hell!!!!! Now he's got to have her back and that's how I feel. Problem is, I don't want to admit it because of Kobe.

The Celtics are doing their thing. A great rivalry renewed. Everyone is picking the Lakers and I'm not quite sure why. Yes the Lakers have played very well but Boston has 3 superstars and home court advantage. On the other hand, Kobe is a cold blooded Killa. Boston in 7 Games.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

NBA Playoffs

2008-04-19T07:31:00.002-05:00

Here are my picks for the 1st round. First the East:

The Cavs over the Wizards in a close series. LBJ makes the difference. Agent 0 may be an assassin but Lebron can kill you in so many ways. Not only that he will set up others to kill you.
The Magic over the Raptors. Magic have too many weapons. How can you bet against this? Turkoglu is averaging 19.5 points 5.7 rebounds and 5 assists (yes that Turgkolu), an underrated Rashard Lewis averages 18and 5, oh and did I forget to mention the Superman Dunking man-child in the middle Dwight Howard at 21 and 14? They are a good enough defensive team to get out of the first round as long as Howard stays out of foul trouble.
Detroit over Philly. Philly has been playing well but forget about it! Detroit allows 90.1 points per game....its a wrap.
Boston over Atlanta. Again too much defense. KG and company were right behind Detroit in points allowed at 90.3 and you know Boston is going to score on the offensive end. (KG should be MVP by the way but he won't get it)

Those were easy. The east is weak but the probably have the two best teams in the whole league. Now for the West:

Utah over Houston. T-Mac and the boys have been working some miracles but now its time to pay the piper. Utah has too good a team. Utah is a poor road team though so there may be a glimmer of hope here because Houston has home court advantage.
Lakers over Denver. The Lakers are solid and Denver does not play defense. They allow 107 points a game.
Dallas and New Orleans - This is a tough one is a toss up. A strong veteran team that has been there but has a questionable heart or a younger, stronger team with an MVP candidate running the show, the heart of young lions but no playoff experience. I've had trouble believing in the Hornets all year and things have not changed. I'm taking Dallas in a long series.
Phoenix and San Antonio - Best match up of the first round. You've got the track team that used to run past everybody in the regular season only to get bullied into submission during the physical playoffs. Now, Steve Kerr has risked his new job by bringing in a shot putter for the 400 meter relay team. You may have heard of him, they call him Shaq. Te trade looked like a disaster at first then it all came together. Now is the payoff for the trade. As the game turns into a half court game for the playoffs the Suns are fully prepared. They have a physical defender for Tim Duncan in Shaq so that Amare is not worn out playing D against 'The Big Fundamentals'. The Spurs suddenly looked old over the last couple of weeks of the season but they still have the heart of a champion. Duncan, Parker, and Ginobli seem to always find a way to get it done. This time though I think they come up short and Shaq makes Kerr look like a genius.

OK I am really iffy about that San Antonio pick. Good thing is no one will probably ever read this blog so who cares. I can also just come back and edit if I am wrong!!

That's all I Got!

I'm Out!

44Black

NBA Power Rankings

2008-04-16T22:37:00.002-05:00

OK we are at the end of the season. Now the NBA gets good! Here are the power rankings. I think I will throw out a couple of these during the playoffs too.

1. Boston - Best record in the league and 25-5 vs the west. I love what KG brings to the game.
Last Rank - 3

2. Detroit - 'Sheed and Chauncey just keep plugging. I said in the last rankings they take nights off but I think it is by design so they are ready to compete in the playoffs.
Last Rank - 4

3. Suns - Last time I said let's take a wait and see attitude about the Shaq trade. It seems to have worked. They have looked good over the past couple of weeks. Now in the playoffs the game will slow down some and get more physical......Precisely why they brought in 'The Diesel' Now I like the trade.....What if we had Shaq and Kobe in the Western Conference Final.
Last Rank - 9

4. Lakers - They have looked great down the stretch. They have grown on me. The Gasol trade was a genius move but where is Bynum? I thought he was supposed to back by now. They will need him to bang with Shaq if it comes to the Lakers and the Suns. You all know my lack of love for Kobe after formerly having mad man love for him. That was all before the breakup (Shaq and Kobe). He is the MVP and he is even growing on me a little. I miss the Lakers being my favorite team.
Last Rank - 2

5. Jazz - Good team, nice pieces, no chance.
Last Rank - 5

6. Hornets - I just can't believe in this team. Chris Paul is unbelievable and they have some other nice young pieces but the NBA at playoff time separates the men from the boys. Hornets you will have to stay on the porch.
Last Rank - 8

7. Spurs - What happened to these guys??? They got old over night! I don't know if they have another run in them.
Last Rank - 1

8. Rockets - How do they keep winning without Yao???? McGrady is earning his money. Battier playing his normal lock down D with a big 3 here and there and 106 year old Dikembe Mutombo is still getting up and down the floor.
Last Rank - 7

9. Dallas - Maybe the Spurs could give them their heart back (see the last power rankings)
Last Rank - 6

10. Magic - They are a year or two away from being the true beasts of the east.
Last Rank - Not Ranked

I'll be rolling out my predictions for the playoffs shortly.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

I've Been Holding Out!

2008-04-16T22:19:00.005-05:00

4-19-08

I wrote this post a couple of months ago. I'm just adding this paragraph as evidence in my murder case. There are several people who may want to kill me after this post. My sister in law is now paying rent so I regret writing the things I wrote below.......but they are true....so how do I really feel? The X-mas dinner really sucked but I love my wife. BTW my next post may be about our family being stalked by my 16 year old daughters ex-boyfriend. I'm not clear on if at 16 you're actually a stalker or stalker in training.

Seriously, if something happens to me I have pointed the authorities in the direction of a couple of strong possibilities. My wife also is addicted to CSI, Law and Order and all of those Dateline type shows where the wife kills the husband with a little antifreeze in his Mt.Dew for 6 years and gets away with it. I'm scared people. Again I'm sorry for this post. Tell my kids I love them.

1-18-08
I want to apologize because I have been holding out and I can't take it much longer. A lot of good bloggable shit has jumped off in my life over the Christmas Holidays. Some of it I have been sworn to secrecy on and some of it I dare not mention so I don't cause unneeded drama in my life.

So read quickly because I may be forced to take down this post at gunpoint.

First, my sister in law is whack. She has temporarily moved into my house while she finds work. She just moved to Chicago so she is staying with us for what is supposed to be a couple of months until she gets on her feet. Am I kidding myself? These kinds of arrangements always end badly. How can you get on your feet when you won't ever leave the house. She wants my wife to run errands for her! She even had my wife take her to her interviews.....All 2 of them!

Anyway she has some disorder that prevents her from going out and looking for a fucking job or going to the grocery store but apparently the same disorder will allow her to go out drinking until 3 in the morning. Hopefully I will contract the condition shortly.

She smokes on the back porch with nothing but a robe on and a hat. One night, the family of my son's friend gave him a ride home and the sis-in-law was down the driveway smoking (we have a long driveway that leads to the back of the house). BTW this is a very stuffy, conservative African American family. My sister in law see the headlights in the driveway and assumes that it is me or my wife and decides to moon us!!!!!! Yes, show her bare ass!!!!! Problem is, it's not us, it is a conservative husband, conservative wife, their three sons and one horrified 11 year old kid who is related to the bare ass that lay before them with headlights bouncing off it!!!!

The mother asks, "Um, is that your mom?" While the boys are snickering.

The kid responds, "No its my Aunt" as he silently got out of the car and walked in the house.

She did call and apologize but a unexpected bare ass in head lights can't just be erased. My son got to school early the next day to make the payoff to the other kid for not repeating the story to the whole school. The details of the settlement have never been made public.

My wife and my sister in law fixed X-mas dinner. Greens-great, sweet potatoes - outstanding, mac and cheese - delicious but the turkey and ham.............Let me put it this way, I could have soaked the whole ham and the whole turkey in the tub for a week and that would have improved them to just being dry! Oh I can't forget the dressing, the dressing was wet and dry at the same time. How is that possible you ask. Think about the consistency of cement that is starting to dry out but still wet.

I almost cried over my x-mas dinner. It's been a long time since I said "I want my mama" but this damn near broke me. It actually got better over the next few days. I don't know if I lowered my expectations or if the tub treatment was really helping. I couldn't do the dressing. Although, it did work well in the driveway.

There is so much more but I gotta sleep.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Greed

2008-03-10T00:22:00.003-05:00

Money certainly can make people do funny things. I went to a Real Estate investment meeting last week that I was very excited about, only to be disappointed in the greed of the people who were making their pitch. They were looking to take advantage of 'newbie' investors. Offering them paltry returns on their money while they stand to make mounds of cash. '

The guy is trying to put together a large sum of cash from investors to purchase a portfolio of properties from a bank on discount. Problem is, he wants to keep 90% of the cash proceeds from the resale. He had the cash is the room and he blew it because he was greedy.

I am involved with a group in a different city (I'm in Chicago) who are operating on a similar plan but with an equitable cash split and people are really jumping on the bandwagon.

Meanwhile, my ventures are going well. The company is still in acquisition mode. There hasn't been a better time than now to purchase real estate in my lifetime. I think things will get pretty hairy over the next two years but people got to have a place to live.

I find myself in a rush to get things done these days. I guess I am impatient. Things are coming together nicely but I guess I want everything 'yesterday'. Anyway, I should have more good news regarding financing and possibly a new property by the end of the week. If all goes well we should finish two big deals in 90 days. 44Black is the Black Trump.

That's All I Got!
I'm Out!

44Black

NBA Power Rankings

2008-03-01T00:11:00.004-06:00

OK Super Bowl is over and the NBA trade deadline has passed. Who is the team to beat now? I will pay attention to the NBA for a minute until March Madness starts then I am checking out until after the Final Four.

Here are my NBA Power Rankings:

San Antonio - I know they don't play like it all the time but like the Nature Boy Ric Flair says, "To be the man you got to beat the man!"
Lakers - This was the Rockets spot but they lost Yao.......forget about it! This pains me because I am a conflicted Laker fan that left the fold when Shaq left and I am a Kobe hater. Problem is they are really good. The Gasol move was the best move of the season. Look out if Andrew Bynum returns to the form he had before his injury.
Celtics - KG is back. Now they need to find their rhythm. They may sign the ugliest man in the NBA, Sam I am....I like the move if he will accept his role.
Pistons - Good but getting old. The window may be nearly closed. They should have tried to get younger before the trade deadline. They take nights off.
Jazz - Derron Williams is nice. Boozer is a beast on most nights. Things are looking up in Utah
Mavs - Is it me or are they just not the same since San Antonio took that series from them a couple of years ago. They don't seem to go as hard as they used to.
Rockets - No Yao? They got their 14Th in a row tonight but I don't know how long they can stay on this list.
Hornets - Exciting young team that plays well together but not sure if I believe in them yet......Their not ready for a physical playoff run
Suns - Love Shaq, just not in PHX. why didn't he give the effort that he is giving now in Miami? Just wondering. Everyone looks out of sink with Shaq on the floor. Let's let this one sit about a week longer before we Judge.
Cavs - LBJ has got to be saying I would rather play with Larry and Drew.

What do you think?

That's All I Got!!

I'm Out!!

44Black

Deny, Deny, Deny...Then Blame Others

2008-02-29T23:28:00.003-06:00

Roger Clemons is funny. He strolled around Capitol hill introducing himself and signing autographs like that would give him some kind of free pass to lie to the Congressional Committee while under oath.

Has he somehow convinced himself that he didn't take performance enhancers? Maybe but he is an idiot. He is a white guy who had a stellar rep and a tough, gritty guy persona. All he had to do is say, "I made a terrible mistake in trying to continue to compete at a high level, I'm Sorry."

All would have been forgiven in a short period of time. Certainly if Giambi was forgiven, Clemens would have been. This is like a get out of jail free card for most white athletes and a few black ones. Unfortunately for Barry Bonds he is not one of the few. Being Black, defiant, a poor teammate and an asshole is not a good combination according to some of the white media apparently.

The genius that is Roger Clemens somehow forgot about the get out of jail free card and went into "my girlfriend caught me with another chick" mode........Deny, Deny, Deny.

He basically has told us as fans and the committee that we are all idiots and I will deny this until the bitter end. The end will be bitter because this is going to end badly for the genius.

Here are some of the things that don't pass the common sense test:

Your best friend and fellow pitcher Andy P. took HGH twice (also a lie) but you never did?
Your best friend misunderstood you when you said you took HGH?
You are a pro athlete yet your wife is the one taking HGH?
You got significantly better as a pitcher after the age of 38?

Here is what I think may be an important point that many people are missing. Roger has consistently said that he has not taken steroids or HGH. That does not mean he did not take other drugs. History has shown us that whatever we as fans know about in terms of performance enhancers the athletes are two or three drugs past that point. Bill Romanowski said that his strategy was to look at the banned substances list and see if he was using any of the new additions. If he was he would just move on to the next drug.

These days lying even when the truth is perfectly obvious seems to be the norm. Deny, Deny, Deny then blame everybody else. Where are the 'Stand-up' guys at? It's funny to see Roger showing his true colors after the media has portrayed him as a 'stand-up' guy. Truth is there aren't too many real ones anymore. The real ones are vilified and the bad guys are the good guys. This world is upside down.

My boy Derek Andersen got a $20Million contract with the Browns today. I am happy for him.

That's all I got!

I'm Out!

44Black

Mortality

2008-02-29T23:05:00.002-06:00

I am staying up keeping busy because I want to keep my mind off things. I am tired and ready to go to bed but that would be too quiet, Too easy for me to think. I found out to day that my mother has Glaucoma. It appears to have been caught early on so things should be fine.

I have to admit that I am a little shook up by it though. My mother is the only one who has always been there. Others have come and gone but she has always been there. I have kept myself busy all day so I would not have to think about it too much. Now I'm left with three choices for the rest of the night: 1) write 2) drink 3) sleep.......I think I will do all three in that order.

I always feel a little alone but I feel even more so right now. I guess realizing the mortality of someone who has been in your life for every day of your life can give you that feeling. I think I also have that feeling because I lost my grandparents when I was young too and they were like parents to me also.

I remember when my mom got her first apartment at the college she was going to. It was an old red brick building with white trim. My grandparents dropped us off in their white 4 door 64 impala. I don't think the electric was on yet because I remember thinking how much fun it was to be sitting and eating cheese, bologna and crackers by streetlight.

She worried about me playing football but then became my greatest fan.

Time for step 2.

That's All I Got!
I'm OUT!!
44Black

Potential is Destiny Wasted

2008-02-03T23:02:00.000-06:00

You ever feel energized yet held back at the same time? I feel motivated right now yet people around me aren't. I want and try to motivate some of them and others I don't care. Most of all though, don't get in the way, don't impede me.

To me its' like what Bill Gates said, "Lead, follow or get out of the way." Right now I am leading and I am motivated to do so. The bad thing about me (I don't really know that this is bad) is that when I am motivated everything needs to go on a timetable...my timetable. I know for a fact that I am not always motivated so when I am, let's move and move now.

I guess I'm just frustrated and needed a place to vent and this is it. I am tired and feel alone right now. I feel like I am the one who sees my vision and no one else sees it. Its' my job to sell my vision, but I am tired of incompetence. I am tired of complaining out loud and in my head about people who are either in my way or act like they are on board when they are not.

God puts funny tests in front of you sometimes. I think this is one. Don't get all of this wrong. I am in a positive place, a very positive place and that is why this stuff bothers me even more. I see, smell and can almost taste what God has in store for me and others. Yet some people can't seem to get the car out of park. I used to be one of them. I am not anymore. I have grown to hate potential. Potential is destiny wasted. Has anyone said that before? That's Good!!!!!!!

NEW QUOTE FROM 44BLACK, "Potential is Destiny Wasted"

If I seem pressed, it is because I am. Not presssed like I will make hasty or poor deciisions but pressed like, "Let's get on with it." If you aren't ready that is fine but could you please get off the bus here?

That's All I Got!!
I'm Out!!
44Black

Barack is Good but these others need some help!!!

2008-01-26T22:12:00.000-06:00

I know I wrote a while back that Barack should wait until the next time around to run. Problem is next time could be 8 years from now. Well he is running and winning. Now if the press can just make up their minds. Is Barack not Black enough this week or too Black this week. They can't seem to decide which one is more damaging to him and most helpful to the republicans. If he is too Black then maybe they can scare some White folksinto not voting for him. If he isn't black enough then maybe the Black folks don't vote for him. Whatever, all I know is that we have two legit contenders and one of them is a brother that is running to win rather than running so that our issues are heard. Anyway Barack put a ass whuppin' on the first Black President's wife tonight in South Carolina....Nice work.

Now, I have written the most controversial post and it is ready and waiting. I don't know if I have the guts to release it. I got words in it for everyone. My sister, my sister-in-law, my wife, several of my supposed homey, my son and even my mama who is missing in action. I am going on a business trip in a couple of weeks. that may be the time to drop such a bombshell.

But on to current matters. I have a list of people who need some serious help. I am almost at a loss for words with these fools. Check it out.

OK, let's start here. This fool is back for another round of 'Luv the Raisin' My kids laugh when I tell them about how this cat was part of one of the greatest and most controversial groups of all time. Especially when I tell them that P.E. gave people pride in being black. I guess you can't put a price on coonin'. Shouldn't he be on that rehab show with the tall blonde man he was hooked up with on the first season of 'Luv'.

Come on People!!!! Somebody help my man! Or at least help the dog, he is looking a little on the thin side. Bobby doesn't have Whitney around to smoke rocks with anymore so maybe he and the dog are smoking. He should be with Flav on the Dr. Drew rehab show.

This cat gets more and more off the hook every day. Now he got popped with every drug know to man on him and a pistol.....He should get on the bus with Flav and Bobby.

OK, this cat is looking really suspect right now. I'm not sure if Jamie needs to get on the rehab bus with the others or does he need to talk to Magic about some medicine. Something ain't right here.

This brother needs a different kind of help.....Acting Lessons!!!! He is always getting on some show but he can't act worth a damn. It's like he is reading off a que card all the time. He might need a stylist also.

When I was in college my first class was Hoes and tricks 101 taught by my teammates. The one thing I learned was that you cannot turn a Hoe in to a housewife. Maybe they don't teach that at USC. Maybe Kim does not qualify as such. I always thought that if you had a sex tape that was a very strong hint as to what you are dealing with.

What's going on with Eddie? He is really acting whack lately. Got a divorce over Johnnie Gill (allegedly), knocked up a Spice Girl and then denied it until the paternity test came back (that last part he might have played right...Deny, Deny Deny). Maybe he is trying to prove his manhood???? Hum, I wonder why.

Speaking of why. Why are they calling Tracey a gold digger? Because she's hot? She has her own money. She has been successful on her own. Like when she was with Babyface and he help her get started in.........nevermind.

Come on Mayor Kirkpatrick,

You can really do better than what you are doing. You got caught up over some text messages? My 15 year old kid gets caught in some shit over some text messages. But you??? You are the Mayor of a major American city at 30 years old. You are killing it. Now you are being investigated for perjury among other things. I am proud of you for your other accomplishments but you are killing me with this stuff. I am also troubled by the lack of loyalty by the people around you. Here in The Chi? Nothing gets to the Mayor. Someone always diverts it or takes the fall for him before it comes to that. Looks like no one in Detroit will take one for the team. Good luck.

That's All I Got!!!!

I'm Out

44Black

Cheaters, the Justice System and the Court of Public Opinion

2008-01-03T21:40:00.000-06:00

Aren't you tired of all the cheaters in the world? Everyone cheats and then even when they are caught they still deny it. There are a few that have come out and admitted they cheated. Everyone else skates around the issues.

Roger Clemens comes immediately to mind. It has been obvious to me for a while that he has been using performance enhancers for years. I assume that this has been obvious to all of you also. Seriously, who adds 3-4 m.p.h. to their fastball after the age of 35? His excuses were terrible and that recording of the phone conversation wasn't even the full conversation.....Garbage!

Funny how the media and the court of public opinion has handled this. I heard a number of journalists say that, "We need to hear from Roger on this!" While with Barry Bonds he was tried and convicted without any evidence. That is, aside from exhibit A which is his body and dome the size of a 15 inch television. Barry has been crucified for years now by the public and now will be crucified by the Federal Government. Yes he is a cheat also but shouldn't he and Roger get the same treatment? I did hear one journalist say that the difference in the way that they were treated was clearly racist. A white journalist by the way. I have to agree.

I feel like the truth is that most of the players have been and continue to cheat. They don't have a test for HGH and the players are surely 2 or 3 drugs past HGH by now. The game is dirty and if everyone would just accept that fact we would all be better off. Now let's move on I have heard enough about them. Besides I have other cheats to talk about.

How about Marion Jones? Another full blown cheat. Her sport is also very dirty. She had a husband who got banned from the sport for performance enhancers then her live-in boyfriend after that got banned also. So why should we think that she would be clean when she is surrounded with drug use. The problem I have is not that she is doing six months but the fact that the Lafave lady (the child molester) got no time at all. Just probation. He attorney said during her trial that she was "too pretty" to go to jail???? What? So if I am a 10 on a scale of 1-10 I should be able to kill someone and get probation.

Our world sucks in a lot of ways. I hope we can do some things to change it.

That's All I Got!

I'm Out!

44Black

1 Real Thought and a bunch of Randoms

2007-12-24T01:35:00.000-06:00

I feel like I am doing this thing without a blueprint.....Life that is....I have no Father to speak of. My Grand Father gave me what he could in just a few years before he passed. There is no one to turn to and bounce ideas off of. No one who has done this thing before. You should not miss something that you never really had right? But somehow I do....and I think many of us Black Men do and that is why it is so easy for us to go astray. We are often in search of something and we don't know what it is. Sometimes it is confidence, self-esteem, hope, an opportunity, happiness and so on. Point is it could be anything only we don't know what it is. We are just in search of....I think the search is for the blueprint.

Problem is I have to write our my own blueprint because I don't have anyone to give me theirs. Thing is their blueprint probably won't work for me anyway because that blueprint probably follows the plan I referred to in my previous post to this one.

I am thinking on all of this because I saw that movie "This Christmas" today. The movie was OK 'cute' I guess. Soul Foodesque I guess you would say. The thing that struck me is that I may be missing an opportunity in my immediate family to create tradition. My extended family has some tradition but I don't feel like we have much in my house. Certainly that is my responsibility, right? Part of it is that we are a 'blended family' and sometimes I feel like we have so much to fight through just to be together and stay sane.

Maybe we need to travel and interact with the extended family more often. My wife really stresses about that until we get there then she is OK. But maybe we have some tradition. Let me think of some:

Each X-mas we buy an ornament on the day after Christmas for next year's tree. We have been doing that for years now
If it is your Birthday you choose the restaurant
I set up the tree
We go to one of my Aunt's or Uncle's cribs for Thanksgiving (memorable stories - especially the one where the Jehovah Witness portion of the family who showed up empty handed and ate and took everything including the Carmel Cake on top of the fridge)

I am sure there is more but I that is all I can think of. We certainly have the characters for interesting family gatherings but I guess I am referring to everyday stuff too like eating together. Sometimes I am so wrapped up in my own shit that I withdraw. I am too busy becoming the Black Trump and figuring out who 44Black is to keep pulling everyone together. That's wrong. I need to address that issue.

Our family has some serious characters. I will hit that on another blog. Meanwhile I have some very random thoughts.

I have ex-friend who is 6'7" and had sex with a midget
Same ex-friend who let a girl with a nub hand give him a hand job
Same ex-friend masturbates while driving
Another friend who had sex to make $$$ to buy a car (as an adult with a degree, not a poor college student (this is a great story that I am not allowed to tell - sorry)
Michael Vick will never be the same, would you after giving away $143 million?
Got pimped by wifey last night. Gave her the chocolate banana split. She finished and had me go sleep with the baby. Payback is coming, stay tuned.
My wife is keeping the price of X-mas quiet because she knows this is to be a low cost x-mas. I will hold back the black snake of west Chicago over this shit. All I got to do is hold out and she will be selling our kids on eBay to make that money back so she can get that lovin back!
Winter time here is rough on nice dress shoes. So my wife bought me some rugged dress shoes for the winter.....I look like 'the goon' in these damn shoes. Herman Munster and Lerch would laugh if you tried to give them these shoes. I think it is a ploy to make me look goofy in public to protect the chocolate!
My sister-in-law has moved to Chicago. More importantly she has moved in my house. I lost money on this shit. I just knew she did not have the balls to move here. Her dog moved too (next post)
The holidays are hard on me.
My sister and my wife are jealous of my relationship with my mother. The other day my sister said, "You are 50 years old, it's time to get off the tit". Funny stuff but I ain't 50.
Tony Romo had his latest trick at the game (Jessica Simpson) and the Cowboys lost to suck ass Philly. Focus Tony, without football there would be no hot tricks in the stands for you...prioritize please!
I am listening to The Commodores 'Sweet Love' amongst other things while writing this. Like Lionel say, "Put a little love in your heart, a little heart in your love!" How's that for old school?!
Is there any other blog in the world that can mention Lionel Richie, midgets (little people), pimpin', prostitution, mobile masturbation, Michael Vick, Jessica Simpson and banana splits in the same post?
BTW my sister has an extreme fear of midgets (little people). What's that called? Midgrachnophobia?

How's that for Random Thoughts.

That's All I Got.

I'm Out!

44Black

Maximizing Your Gifts

2007-11-08T23:07:00.000-06:00

How do you maximize your gifts? How do you discover your destiny or passion? What is the secret? I ask because very few people figure out what their destiny or passion is. Even fewer will pursue that passion. Is it that we know what our passion or destiny is but we are afraid to pursue it?

If we follow the system, a flawed system by the way, we go to high school, then to college, then maybe a MBA, get a 9-5 and live happily ever after. No where in that system is there mention of passion, destiny or the pursuit of power or happiness. Truth is, if you follow that map then you are joining in the pursuit of another man or woman's passion.

Meanwhile, you build your financial obligations around you like a barbed wire fence so that you have no choice but to continue forward in your unfulfilling career choice. Funny thing is I am the one who know what my couple of passions in life are but have been scared to pursue fully. That has always been my problem. I hate corporate America. I know what I want to do yet I scarred to let go of my security blanket, otherwise known as a paycheck.

But the older I get the more it becomes clear to me that I am about two things, respect and power. I want to be get and give respect to those who deserve it. Corporations are filled with people who are completely incompetent (not pursuing my passion makes me incompetent) and yet I must respect them? That makes me sick to my stomach. It also impacts my performance negatively which ironically makes me one of the incompetent people in a corporation. Maybe that means that the mass incompetence in our world (especially the United States) is due to people not pursuing their dreams. That would certainly explain why so many people can come here from other countries with nothing and end up creating an empire of their own. They don't come up in our system. They just have a dream or a passion and they follow it down whatever path it takes them. More often than not that is down the path of happiness and success.

Power is simple. Chasing your dream is power. Being in control of your own destiny is power. Sure their will be times where you may compromise something but it will be for the betterment of your dream not another persons dream. My work generates millions of dollars for my company. I make less than 1% of the money my territory generates each year. Where is the power in that????? There is none. As a matter of fact the is being pimped in the biggest way. "Hey 'Ho go make a hundred dollars, bring it back to me and I will give you $1 and you will be thankful for that you understand bitch?"

Xibit said, "Power is when your no means no and your yes means yes and you can stand by your word is your balls, you lose one you lose 'em all." Not a big X fan but I love that song.

So, I know my passions. How do I take the real step? How do I jump in head first? How do I max my potential? I have told every team that I have coached over the years that in order to be successful in this game you have to "let your balls hang" and just be free. Leave your insecurities on the sideline. How do you translate that to regular life? If I can remove that baggage from my closet I can't be stopped.

Yes I know there are all of these techniques but I need to just carry out the bags. Every time someone puts them in my room I will just carry them back to the curb.

That's all I got.
I'm Out!
44Black

Drunk Blogging...Don't do it!!!

2007-10-20T02:25:00.001-05:00

Well I'm not sure what to talk about. I know that drunk blogging is wrong especially when you are one short of being not being able to see the screen. I guess I can always come back and change it tmw.

When is it too late to go out. I mean late as in too old! I am paranoid since I am getting older. After being out for a while I discovered I still had it. They still want me...or at least they want my stuff. I had my skin tight leisure suit on with no draws (makes your shit look bigger) and the ladies were on me (I learned the leisure suit trick from James Brown). Okay I didn't have the leisure suit on but what I am about to tell you is 100% true. My friend, who is a couple of years younger but older in spirit had on a black velvet suit with a brown shirt and brown shoes.......Velvet??? I am really thinking about that.....Can you wear velvet anymore under any circumstances? I was too drunk to be embarrassed about it when we were at the spot but now I'm like damn. I'm sure the ladies in the club was like "Damn is that velvet? Like Velvet fuckin' Jones velvet?" The velvet suit might have been money in a jazz spot with a 'more mature' clientele.

Please bear in mind that my friend has no care about these issues. One night I had him come out with a group of friends and he had on some white patent leather slip ons!! With the GOLD BUCKLE!!! They were exactly like the ones that Mr. Griswold's cousin had in the movie 'Vacation'. It would not have been so bad had he worn something else white, but as I remember he no other white on. He explained it by saying it was his last chance to wear them before Labor Day! I guess it's not OK to look like Liberace after Labor Day! My next blog will be on how he made me look like I was lying to my wife when he was actually lying to his.

Seriously, how do you know when it is too late. Most athletes retire too late. They are forced out of the game. Is that how us old players (who are not cheating but want to know they still have it) have to do it? I hope not because I have seen the old school players who are still in the spot horrifying the younger clientele. I may be on the verge of being forced out of the game.

I visit the club every few months just to stay in touch but that may not be enough.....it could be over. We had to wait in line tonight and while I was waiting I was thinking, "I could be at home eating some popcorn and watching Monsters Inc. for the 513th time at home, with my 2 year old daughter and I would be having more fun."

It is great to get my ego pumped up but what is the truth? Do I need someone to put a bullet in my and end my misery? Do I need to just keep my ass at the crib? I say yes because the ones a the crib send no mixed signals. They think you are at least as old as dirt (34 and up).

I'm drunk!

That's All I Got!
44Black

My Baby Sister!

2007-09-22T02:13:00.000-05:00

My baby sister is getting married in a few days and I have the honor of giving her away. Her man is a nice guy but who's good enough for your baby sister? I do like him but I got a couple of things to get to on him. It's real funny shit but it could stop the wedding so I will wait and publish that post after the wedding.

I am very happy she has found someone to share her life with. She certainly is a good person (crazy people can be good) who deserves only the best.

I wonder what my thoughts will be on that day? I am sure I will flash back over her life. I will remember how she was a disruption from the very beginning. I had to get out of the bed in the wee morning hours of May 30th, 1967 so that my mother could be rushed to the hospital to pop the large headed child out. Needless to say this interrupted my baseball practice that afternoon.

I am 11 years her senior so I was the free baby sitter. I did find a way to make it profitable when she got old enough to walk. I discovered that high school girls adore little 4,5 or 6 year old little girls. They also adore the older brother that spend quality time with them.

She has stressed over this wedding for many months now. I think she drinks daily to deal with the stress. I am sure it will be everything she has dreamed of it being. Even though she is old, I still look at her as my little sister who is in the process of growing up. Truth is she is a grown woman now who is on the way to being a grown married woman.

That's all I got.
I'm Out
44Black

A Letter to Jena Louisiana

2007-09-08T02:37:00.000-05:00

Dear Jena,

Somehow you have managed to sleep through maybe the last 100 years or so. Are you really serious?! Usually when this kind of thing pops up it is some toothless redneck idiot involved. Not in this case. This time there are educated idoits involved.

I am so offended by you that I cannot continue to write. I will leave you with a newsflash that you may not have received since you are in the deep south.....SLAVERY IS OVER!!!!!!!

Also, to the Black People of Jena. Why do you live in such a place? Move, NOW!

That's all I got.
I'm Out!

44Black

Michael Vick

2007-08-26T11:13:00.001-05:00

I guess it's time for me to weigh in on this thing since every one and their dog, well a few less dogs, have weighed in at this point.

First, before I really get on with what I have to say, I must say that I am disgusted at our priorities in this country. The importance of life is clearly distorted. Judging from the amount of outrage and publicity, the loss of life by a person of color in this country is of far less importance than the loss of life by man's best friend. Certainly that is something to stop and think about.

Now for Mike. What's this guy thinking? I know no one will learn from this but isn't it clear by now that by running in the same circles as you did when you were 18 can be the end of you. Yes I know, "keep it real" and "these guys were my friends when I had nothing." Problem is they still have nothing. These 'homeys' who were supposed to have had Mike's back rolled on him rather than do major jail time. While freedom is a big part of life, that is all they had to lose in this situation. Mike Vick on the other hand had his freedom and a lot more to lose. His career, his lifestyle, his $130 million contract and $50 million in endorsements.

All of that is gone now. His guilty plea has precipitated a storm that dwarfs the worst PR nightmare you could ever dream of. Most of all I am embarrassed, again, by one of us doing the wrong thing. I know the media always makes it worse than it is when you are a black man but damn, do you have to put yourself in the position in the first place?

That's all I got!
I'm Out!

44Black

How Does Daddy Let His Girls Grow Up?

2007-07-07T16:10:00.000-05:00

I am truly perplexed? How does a dad let his little girl, girls in my case, grow up? My oldest is 15 years old and I am finding it very, very difficult.

Never, until the last two years have I ever had any second thoughts about my transgressions as a growing boy. As a reformed dawg, I know game when I see it. When I don't see it I smell it. This leads to 'Daddy Paranoia', an illness brought on by a former or current dawg's past.

I always thought that when one of my kids reach the age of 15 I could tell some of the stories from my past. Maybe that was just for the boys? Am I sexist? I just know what the goal is for 15 and 16 year old boys.......panties!

So now I am on guard 24-7. I know, I know, where there is a will there is a way. Which means there is know way to stop these dirty dawgs from coming around my house. I know this is a war that cannot be won. Well, I may not stop them but I'm gonna take out, wound or mentally mame a bunch of them before it is all over with.

The last boyfriend is gone, not without big drama though. Now the boy is trying to kiss my ass to get back in the door. Something 'stupid' (his name) should have been doing in the first place. He sends me text messages......Seriously, it's like a blog only on my cell phone. "Huh? What boy, I don't care about your life, especially now that I got you out of the hen house!"

My current strategy is to severely punish my daughter severely for each violation. This morning she got grounded for the rest of the summer because she had three too many Cheerios in her bowl.

"Do you know what 15 year old boys think about girls who eat too many Cheerios?" I asked.

She just looked at me like I had asked her a crazy question.

"That's it, you're grounded for the rest of the summer" I told her.

"Are you serious? I'm supposed to go swimming with my friends today."

"Swim in the tub the water is cleaner."

"But" She said.

"But nothin' you're grounded!"

"Mom, he is insane" she screamed as she went to her room.

Yea, I'm crazy like a fox.

Seriously, I pulled off a lot of capers when I was growing up and did not get caught very often. My daughter, seems to always get caught. Each time she gets caught it makes me more paranoid. More viligant aganist the enemy. Is it good to have a kid that is not sneaky enough? Maybe that is a reflection on poor parenting skills. If she was better at being sneaky then I would still think my kid is closer to being an angel than being me at that age.

Meanwhile, when dating begins. I will intimidate and threaten every dawg that comes around my house. I will have my guns on the dining room table cleaning them, whenever the enemy is due to come over. I have also considered sending two body guards with her to school rather than just the one I have been using since she was in 5th grade.

God has a sick sense of humor. The last thing I have ever needed is daughters. They love you and you love them until one day they are done with you. You go from being the teddy bear in their lives to being an ATM that happens to double as a limo driver.

That's all I got!

I'm Out!
44Black

The New Bobby and Whitney

2007-06-19T15:52:00.001-05:00

My efforts to be the Black Trump resulted in my being out of town on Father's Day to work on my properties. That did not stop my family and friends from calling text messaging and emailing well wishes. Well it did not stop most of my family. One of my close family members, granted I am not her daddy but I expect her to call, did not bother to call. This family member is my sister. Prior to this day I had no idea that she was Whitney but soon you will see why.

Of course I was worried about her because certainly she would call. Anyway, on my drive back to Chicago 7Pm - 12 midnight I decided to give her a call and check on her. She doesn't answer so I leave her a message.

I did not mention that she had not called me on Father's Day but I did mention that I was disappointed that she mentioned a conversation I had with her to my mother. This was mainly because the conversation was about my mother. Undoubtedly my sister revealed this information to my mother to make me look bad.

As I have gotten older I have come to realize that my sister is jealous of me and will do anything to make me look bad. I remember when we were kids she would come into the kitchen while my brother and I were eating breakfast and throw our food on the floor. Then she would scream to our mother that we were having a food fight. These were the first signs of Whitneyitis. A disease brought on by heavy crack smoking.

Later, while I was still driving my phone rings and it is my sister screaming, ranting and raving about how she does not have a big mouth. But then proceeds to tell me why she tells everything to my mother. These are conflicting statements, another sign of Whitneyitis.

Next she proceeds to tell me that all my mother and I do is discuss "every detail" of my sisters life and then keep the conversations secret from her. This is paranoia and Narcissism, both signs of Whitneyitis.

At this point I am very fearful due to how upset and angry she is. Again, these are symptoms of Whitneyitis. I still had not put it all together until I heard a brother singing in the background.

"Uh don't be cruel
'Cause I would never be that cruel to you
Uh no, oh oh, noUh
don't be cruel
Uh girl,
you need to change your attitude
Uh no, oh
Uh don't be cruel"

It was her fiancee. A huge Bobby Brown fan. That is when it all came together. They are the new Bobby and Whitney. As she was yelling and he was singing a number of thoughts went through head. He is a truck driver who owns his own truck (I should have been a driver still might one day), but I have never seen the truck. Every time, I see him the truck is in the shop but he has a wad of cash and some new Nike's on. How can you make money if your truck is always in the shop. Can you say BOBBY THE DOPEMAN.

Come to think of it he doesn't even look like a trucker. No beer belly and no ass crack showing. I've never even heard him say breaker one nine. He ain't no trucker. He is Bobby.

More evidence that he is Bobby Brown. He paid for all the strippers, hookers and drinks at my cousins bachelor party.......Oh maybe I wasn't supposed to mention that.

Anyway back to Whitney. She is crazy! After all of that yelling she said that I ruined her Father's Day. Who the hell's daddy is she?

Then she says, "I was calling to wish you a Happy Father's Day but just forget it. Crack is Whack! I gotta go."

I guess after the wedding in a couple of months Bobby and Whitney will be back in full swing.

That's all I got!
I'm Out!
44 Black

It's On Us

2007-06-19T14:52:00.000-05:00

Why is it that we as Black Men are having such a difficult time taking care of our own business? If seems more and more we don't take responsibility for anything. Especially the young men that are coming behind us.

68% of our children are born out of wedlock. If we could change that fact alone we could change the outlook of all of our communities. At one time I thought that it was just a lack of education about sex that led to this problem but it is not. There is a mentality among some of us that indicates that you are somehow more of a man if you produce kids no matter what the situation. So even if you can't or won't take care of the child you produce one anyway. Yes some sisters contribute to this but I am talking strictly about the men right now.
We need to collectively say "we take responsibility for ourselves our families and our communities."

If we could just do that we wouldn't be talking about how 32 kids in Chicago Public Schools were killed during this school year alone. Yes, I know there is racism, bigotry and institutionalized racism. Those things are all excuses when it comes to taking responsibility for ourselves. Where is our pride. It seems we don't care about anything especially ourselves. That is why we can kill each other so easily.

So If you are reading this ask yourself, "What have I done lately to help my community?" Then ask yourself, "What have I done lately to hurt my community?"

Remember, sometimes not doing anything is just as wrong as the crime that is being committed.

That's all I got"
I'm Out!
44Black

Medical Miracle?

2007-06-19T11:27:00.000-05:00

Is 19 year old Greg Oden, R. Kelly's daddy?

Spurs Make it 'Do what it Do'

2007-06-15T19:54:00.000-05:00

Well, say what you want but the Spurs just keep making it 'Do what it do.' Yes Tim is great but boring. Yes, Tony Parker is living a great life and yes, Bowen is dirty as hell. Let's face it, the East sucks and the King James is only 22 years old. He is not quite ready. I was shocked they made it to the finals in the first place. The east sucks but there is no way Cleveland should have been there. There are several other teams from the west who would have beat Cleveland.

Talk about a bad sports city. I live in Chicago and we have our problems with our teams and fans are periodically suicidal. Luckily, we have winners and champions in Chicago every so often. At this point I am beginning to wonder how there are any Cleveland sports fans left alive. So, who is to blame for Cleveland turning into this sports hell hole?

I say Art Modell is to blame for Cleveland's mess. Back in the 1965 they had just completed two straight trips to the NFL Championship Game with Jim Brown leading the way. I love watching the old film of Jim Brown dominating the gridiron. In fact Jim Brown's last game was the 1965 NFL Championship game against the Green Bay Packers. The Browns were a dominate team. If you were the owner of a dominate team wouldn't you do all that you could to preserve it?

Jim Brown was an activist in the civil rights movement and an emerging film star. During the off season Mr. Brown went to Europe to film the Dirty Dozen. Due to no fault of Mr. Brown the filming ran over and was going to cause him to be late reporting to camp. Art Modell took a hard stance with Brown who was already contemplaiting retirement. He threatened to heavily fine arguarbly the greatest player who ever lived. This threat forced Brown hand and he decided to retire. Jim Brown decided he had given enough blood, sweat and tears to the game. He retired after only 9 years in the league.

That was the beginning to a legacy of losing that may be far more significant than "The curse of the Bambino" or the lovable losers that are the Cubs. Boston and Chicago have had many other champions. But Cleveland is a different story. Art Modell, ushered in a curse, a disease, an epidemic of losing that was so horrid that he had to leave the city for Baltimore.

I feel your pain Cleveland. I was a Brown fan (second to the Cowboys) for both 'The Drive' and 'The Fumble'. That was all I could handle.

The Drive, The Fumble, The Shot, and now The Sweep. I have officially crossed Cleveland off of my places to live list.

Next Blog - The New Bobby and Whitney

That's all I Got!
I'm Out!
44Black

I Hate 'The Soprano's'

2007-06-11T19:08:00.000-05:00

Yes, I have been in hiding. Going 'Ground' as Silvio put it. Witness protection, watching my back, what ever you want to call it I haven't been here writing like I should. But there are certain things that will bring a man out of witness protection even if it means his life.

The ending to the Soprano's was uncalled for. Who breaks up with someone like that????? What the hell did I do to get disrespected like this? No DVR or VCR (old school) for me. I would watch it twice every Sunday night. First watch the East Coast Feed then the West. When Tony was stressed at the end of the show, I stressed for the next week. If Tony had to watch his back on the way to 'da Bing' I would watch my all week. If Tony screwed the receptionist at the sanitation company......

OK, I didn't go that far, but the point is that you don't do your people like that, not after we've been watching and waiting for the end for so long. It's like this girlfriend I had. It was my first real, serious type of relationship. She used to tell me how good the sexin' was until the end when she screamed at me from the parking lot in front of my house that the sexin' sucked (as she held up her pinky finger) and then dumped a full bag of potting soil in my car. My neighbors talked about that drama for months. I'd wave at my cute female neighbors and they would wave back....with their pinky. Yes, there was a car chase and a case! Crazy Trick didn't have to go there but that is what happens in the end. They don't respect you and they do you wrong (the pinky is not accurate!!!!) Maybe I'll blog that full story one day.

Anyway, I loved Tony and Paulie Walnuts so much that my sister had to talk me into watching the last episode. I told her I couldn't bear to watch Tony and Paulie die, not after watching Silvio get it last week. I could care less about Bobby even though he grew on me a little. Compared to what I got in the last episode I would have taken Tony and Paulie getting their brain splattered all over Jersey.

I will never love another show again. Why should I give all that I have to someone who will just disappear, go black, at the end? What's in it for me....not a damn thing but questions. Is Tony, alive or dead? Is the family alive or dead?

Oh, and if you think you are going to suck me into a Soprano movie or another season somewhere down the road, 'forget about it.' My divorce attorneys are seeking the return of 8-10 years of HBO payments I made to keep this relationship alive. I WAS THE ONE WHO WAS THERE WAITING THOUGHT THE NEARLY 2 YEAR PERIOD BETWEEN SEASONS. I WAS THE ONE WAITING AT HOME WITH THE LIGHT ON. WAS I OUT WITH OTHER SHOWTIME SHOWS????? NO!!!! I'M JUST A SUCKER!!!!!! I GOT PLAYED, I HOPE YOU ARE HAPPY!!!!!!! I'm sorry, I am yelling. This is just too fresh, and too bitter.

I have to change my life. I can't go through this again. I am going to break up with Ari and the gang at 'Entourage', dirty ass Vic from 'The Shield' is out of my life and so is the complete whorish crew at 'Grey's Anatomy.'

I am crushed. They say the ones you love are the ones that will hurt you first and hurt you the most!!! I must agree.

That is all I got!

I'm Out!

44Black

Don't Do It Barack....Not Yet!

2007-01-06T06:50:00.000-06:00

I am a big Barack Obama fan. Yes he is the star of the moment and you should strike while the iron is hot. But is this the right moment for him to run for President? I don't think so.

While Senator Obama is certainly ready in many ways there are a couple of ways in which he is not. I am not sure that he has the international know how that we need right now. Our country is the villain of the world right now and we need someone to help bring us out of this hole we are in.

Instead how about this. Hilary and slick Willie get back in the White House. I love Slick Willie after all he was our first Black President. Senator Obama is the V.P. for 8 years then the former Senator from Illinois becomes the President for the next 8 years. Those 8 years as VP will prepare him to be President on the international level.

He hasn't even announced yet and they are bringing up his past drug use as an issue. He is not ashamed of it he wrote about so what is the issue. Bush, Slick Willie and others did it but tried to hide it.

Can you believe that they called Obama 'Osama' in the Chicago Sun Times? How about some respect in your home state?

Can you imagine Slick Willie as the 1st Man? That will be a wild 8 year party? It's like he gets to be president all over again without all those silly economic, war and political decisions to make! I hope puts me up for Chief of Something.

That's all I got!
I'm out!
44 Black

Catching Up! Random Thoughts.

2007-01-06T06:08:00.000-06:00

Yes, I am still alive. I've had a lot on my plate lately so I haven't been able to get to the blog. Some things have not changed since I have been away.

Racism is as strong as ever. A guy in NY goes out with his boys for his bachelor party and ends up dead. 70 rounds shot into his car and no one in his group was armed? Scary. An old lady in her 80's in Atlanta was shot to death when they Police busted in her house and she defended herself because she thought someone was breaking in......50 rounds. By the way the person they were looking for was not even home. White cops (sometimes Black cops) and Black victims.

They (and the community as a whole) seem to believe everything that is in the media about us. Even thought they produce 90% of the media content about us. If you believe what is in the movies and on the news we all carry guns and have 3 kids by the time we are 12. We also sell drugs and play basketball daily.

I have a friend who worries about run ins with police even though has never had one. He even goes as far as taking his drivers license picture in suit and tie. His thinking is that the officer will see that he is professional and that will decrease his chances of being arrested or being shot. I took my drivers license picture in a black hoody.......I will be shot on sight.

I can see it now. The officer asks for my license, insurance and registration. All of that is expired because we all ride dirty.

The officer sees my picture and says, "Is this a hoody in your picture?"

I say "yes"

He yells, "Gun!" and empties his 9 into my chest.

I guess I'm off to DMV today.

Enough of that. Other happenings in my life you ask? Well, teenagers are dumb selfish and crazy. I have one in my house and I think she has lost her mind. She somehow thinks that at 14 she can survive in the world on her own. In an earlier blog I mentioned the need for a street cat to take care of my mouse problem. I compared the street cat to Perry my sisters house cat whose idea of hunting down a meal is sitting next to the bowl until someone fills it. Well that is my kid. She is a retarded straight A student.....how is that possible? Book smarts but no common sense.

The holidays were good. My mother came to spend time with us. She insulted my x'mas tree. She said "that sure is an ugly tree!" She said this in front of the kids. She laughed at our tree as she explained that she didn't even have a tree! Whatever! It was nice to see her.

Apparently, according to my sister's blog my mother has asked her to move out after she is married. My sister is somehow offended by this. I think this qualifies as retarded also. Apparently, my sis has a lot of junk everywhere so my mother got her an organizational specialist to help her get her shit together. My mom and sister living together is the worst idea ever, yet they have been at it for years and it is constant comedy and drama.

I am continuing on my qwest to be a Real Estate Mogul. I got six months to a year to go then I can leave my day job, thank God!

That's all I got!
I'm Out!
44Black

Is There a Damia Omen??????

2006-11-19T06:31:00.000-06:00

OK, people I know it's been a minute but you know I got issues. Life, mice, kids, business, so I can't come out from under my rock to write everyday. I know that is no excuse but it's the best I got.

I have a new major and pressing issue in my life. My youngest daughter who is 16 months old appears to have some problem with anyone or anything who is not fetching her food. Up until recently she has been a model child.

I took a couple of days off to spend with the baby and give mom a break. My wife says that being at home with her is hard sometimes. What can really be hard about Chilean' on the couch watching court shows, soap operas, Oprah, Tyra (the fake ass Oprah) and Dr. Phil (A fake all together, more scoop on that at another time). All you have to do is fix lunch at some point during the day and look like you've been busy all day when I get home right? Easy, I got it.

Our day began beautifully. We had oatmeal together she goo-gooed and gaa-gaad and I acted like I knew what she was talking about. The doorbell rang and things changed. The guy was there to give us an estimate to replace some windows. Normally she is very quiet when strangers are around. She screamed what appeared to be profanities (in baby talk) and pointed at the man. Then she tried to take his cell phone off his hip. When that would not work she picked up a tennis ball and bounced it off the man's head.

I'm sure he was thinking, "I can't wait to get out of here and away from this little gremlin."

I felt so bad I bought new windows for nearly the whole house. She laughed and had an evil look in her eye as the man sprinted down the driveway and back to his truck. Then I sat down to get a couple of things done at the computer and I noticed she was very quiet. I walked back to the kitchen and she had opened the dishwasher and was standing on the door with her arm stuck in the top rack. She was trying to get out a binki that she saw in the pot rack when she got stuck. She wasn't crying because she knew she was doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing.

Later, I tried to put her down for a nap and she refused to go to sleep. Unfortunately, I fell asleep and I was awakened to a room full of toilet paper that was still connected to the roll in the bathroom. She awakened me by repeatedly smacking me in the forehead with a water bottle because she was thirsty.

After cleaning up I thought well let's go to the store to pick up a couple of things. While we were in Sears she yelled at people throughout the store. A kindly older gentleman and his wife said hello to her and she proceeded to grunt and clinch her fists together while looking at them. It was like she was saying, "Look little ole' man you and your old lady need to get out of my face" They proceeded to continue to say pleasant things to her. The well mannered child responded by yelling, clinching her fists and punching the X-mas Hickory Farms Sausage and cheese display until 10 or 15 boxes fell off the shelf. She then turned to the old man and said, "You want some of this old fart?" Those were her first clear words, should I be worried or excited? The old man grabbed his bottom B and took off.

That evening at my son's football banquet she proceeded to slap, kick and punch every child or grown up who got within her reach. It's like she has tourettes with words and violent actions.
Well after the holy terror those couple of days brought to my life, I got suspicious and I started to watch her more closely. We have many photos of her so I went through some of them to see if any of them offered a clue to the change in her behavior. I found the picture shown above taken of her when she was in her cell, Oops I mean when she was in laundry basket. They say the eyes are the window to the soul. Look at her eyes! That is the look that Damien Omen had as a child. So I ask the question. Did he have a sister named Damia? I have searched for the 666 in her hair but I can't find it with her head spinning around like that.

That gleam in her eye when she chased off the window guy, when she scared the old people, when she was fighting at the banquet and when she was in the dishwasher were all the the same as the eyes in the picture.....I'M SCARED PEOPLE. The look in the eye coupled with the periodic complete sentence threatening someone has me thinking we are dealing with something more serious here. Maybe she is the Queen of the Mice. If you don't get it check earlier posts.

That's all I got!
I'm Out!
44Black